Paper & Jerry Seinfeld

Question # 1: Why do u blog?
The Oracle: hmm… good question.

Question # 2 (slightly animated): Why do u blog?
The Oracle: That’s two good questions in a row…..

Question # 3 (Going Ballistic): Why the *#*% do u blog?
The Oracle: I ran out of paper… damn it… (i am horrible under pressure....)

Well it’s better than saying - ‘Nobody listens to what I have to say’ …

So i have decided that 'Lack of paper is going to be my reason for blogging'.... if only they could use less pages while printing the newspaper nowadays (last week's TOI supplements could have itself cost a forest) ..... everybody would then have paper.... to maintain a decent journal instead of blogging..... so the justification goes.....

Anyways, speaking of newspaper, reminds me of a famous quote by Jerry Seinfeld, who said -

“It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper”… witty eh? I know what you are thinking… No you cannot use it…

Here are some really witty ones from Jerry again -

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”

and this one…

“A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door, the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, "He's back, it's that guy, that same guy." He can't believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog”

And…

“I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire other room? What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, "Hey look, there's a whole other room in there. There's a guy that looks just like me in there."
But the parakeet would fall for this. I'd let him out of his cage, he'd fly right into the mirror. And I'd always think, "Even if he thinks the mirror is another room, why doesn't he at least try to avoid hitting the other parakeet?"

And…

“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the nail clippers right here."

One last good one…

I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"

Check out this wiki link for a truckload of good ones - http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Jerry_Seinfeld


More later

The Oracle