Thank you for making our childhood special - obituary for Amit Wagle

May 29th, 2010 began as any other harmless day. In fact it was like that till I received a call from one of dear friends. Two minutes later I was in a state of shock. I could not believe what my friend just told me. How could this happen. Why him? A million thoughts came streaming in and I felt completely overwhelmed by the moment.

On the fateful day, Amit Wagle, one of my oldest friends, had a seizure attack and died on-the-spot in a mumbai local train. He was a year or so elder to me.

Amit and I used to stay in the same lane of our colony 'Saraswati Baug' in Jogeshwari, Mumbai. Infact, our houses were opposite each others. As kids from the same colony we regularly bumped into each other. I very distinctly remember our first meeting. We were, I believe, six or seven years old then, we met for the first time on a green patch of land opposite rasika's house. Mangesh wagle (lovingly referred to as mangu) his distant cousin was also there. The three of us decided to start a cricket team. But before, we could start we argued on who would captain this team (smile). Since, mangu was the youngest, he was asked to chose between Amit and I. Surprisingly, mangesh chose me. Amit sulked for a bit and ordered a re-election. He even wanted to drag his blood-brother sumit to cast a vote as sumit would surely vouch for him. But since sumit didn't want to be a part of this cricket team, we argued that his vote didn't count. So the cricket team was formed with three members. Irrespective of this not-so-auspicious start, it kick-started a warm friendship that was to last next 24 years and endured every conceivable sport from cricket, soccer, hand-tennis, carrom, chess, cards to even paper-boat competitions, and, every conceivable weather condition from playing under noon sun, to torrential downpour and even under flood lights.

Initially, we played under-arm cricket below shardul's house and some of my most pleasant memories are associated with that time. We played cricket daily and the routine was as fixed as say brushing teeth or taking a shower. Every day after school, we'd show up at the same place. There was no need to invite anybody (except occasionally during exam times, when parents didn't share our enthusiasm towards the game). We were joined by satesh and shardul sometimes. Sriram Kini would occasionally join us but always as the umpire (with his stark clean white kurta and pair of spectacles, sriram definitely 'looked' his part). But, cricket we played, with all our heart. Amit, mangu and I played fierce cricket. We used to compete like our lives depended on it. But at the end of the game, we would put our arms around each other and merrily talked gibberish. It was friendship at its best.

As we grew, we decided to join the colony elder's team (rakesh rane, umesh asgaonkar, chaitanya diwekar, tejesh rane, tejas sakholkar etc.). The three of us played with the colony elder's for a while, but, didn't like the treatment meted to us. So, we decided to split and form our own team. It was a big decision as it meant not being allowed to play on the colony's biggest patch of cricket ground. I very distinctly remember the acrimonious split. We had each paid ten rupees to be a part of the elder's team. When we left, we demanded our money back. I remember being given one rupee sixty paise back then (smile). Ah! those were the days.

Amit, mangu and I decided to form our own cricket team. And we chose the patch of land, opposite simit bagwe's house. We added Dhiraj sharma, Rahul Pandey and Shahil to our team. Thereafter, chirag shah and Siddarth kini joined us. We played many matches on the Ismail cricket ground with this team. Initially, the prize money for the match with teams from neighboring colonies was a princely sum of 3.50 rupees (the then prize of a rubber cricket ball). The prize money slowly increased to tens and fifties. We won many a matches and with it a lot of money too. At one point, the Sangli vaibhav cricket team owed us 110 rupees, which was a lot those days. We defeated both the Mangalya team and the Dena bank team in their own backyards.

Then we added mangesh naik, abhishek dhume, sachin thakur and devendra thakur to our team. Simit bagwe and viraj kasbekar joined us towards the end of the decade. As the team grew in strength, we moved to a patch of land opposite, simit bagwe's house to the main patch before babu sir's house. It was our time in the sun. We relaid the cricket pitch and organized a cricket tournament for the first time. It was a big achievement for us and especially the three who had started a team by bickering over captaincy (smile).

All, this while amit played with a unwavering dedication to the team. For the first decade, he was the vice-captain of the team. He opened the batting and was a safe fielder, and, with his long legs an asset in the deep. As the team grew in strength, younger members over-shadowed him. Rather, more vocal and ambitious members over-shadowed him. He never argued and rarely voiced his opinion in team meetings in a forceful way. As a result, he got increasingly side-lined with regard to responsibilities. But he never missed a match and as a captain, I could always bank upon him to give his 100 percent. He dearly loved the team and i remember many a passionate discussions on the composition of the team and strategy to be adopted for the matches with him. The juniors called him 'Wagle ki duniya' (in line with a popular tele-serial) or Amti-dumpty, but, he always took it in the spirit it was meant.

Amit and I shared a bonhomie that is difficult to put into words. We were not soul friends or anything like that, in the sense, we didn't discuss family, girlfriends or kept secrets with each other. But, we stayed together through thick and thin. We supported each other on the field and in a way, it was difficult to imagine a game without both of us. As we grew older, I became more close to some of the newer team members, but we never lost the friendship we had.

After I left mumbai, we sporadically kept in touch through the net. But whenever we used to meet, it used to be like I never had gone away. I kept meeting him increasingly less frequently as my mumbai visits reduced to a trickle. The team had disbanded since i left, and, amit had not made any new friends since then. Every time, we met, we talked about our good ol'days of how good a time we had. And great time we really had!!

When not playing cricket, amit played with his toy red-bus and some toy-cars he had. He infact had engineered a small cement slope so that his bus/cars could come up the drive-way and park. He was pretty nifty in making paper-planes and boats too. And during rainy season, he could make boats pretty much out of anything - paper, tree leaves or whatever he could get his hands on.

Occasions were a feast. Especially, diwali, holi and ganpati festival. During ganpati festival, we used to have a highly competitive carrom tournament. And amit was very good in carrom. I remember, he was first one amongst us to have a 'champion board' (a tournament-sized board with extra smooth surface) and we used to practice on the champion board for hours, rehearsing every shot, every angle we might encounter in a match situation. The day the tournament draw was to be put up was a highly eventful day and met with much anxiety. We all sat together for ganpati aartis and danced merrily at the ganpati immersion. The whole team always traveled together. For example, for laxmi poojan at North kanara GSB bank, the entire team would march together to have samosas and gold-spot. This trend stayed even when our team size increased to 20 but we still went together like we were glued together.

Around the whole of last week of december, saraswati baug used to organise stage-plays (marathi nataks). So a huge pandal used to be erected in the centre of the cricket ground and one marathi play used to be enacted daily at night after dinnertime. The entire colony used to congregate and for our team, it just meant spending more time together. We used to sit together, and, in the interval break, amit used to reserve our seats while we fetched warm wada-pavs and tea to go with the chilly decemeber nights. Amit rarely ate outside food, so, he used to reserve our seats for us while we wolfed down the wada-pavs.

Two decades is a long time to have a bagful of memories. If those two decades coincided with the best part of your childhood then you can safely multiply the count of memories by a couple of hundreds. Each of my special childhood memories, whether be it cricket match victories, carrom matches, december night outings at nataks, playing with toy-cars, laxmi-poojan at NKGSB bank to occasions like diwali/holi/ganpati festival had Amit in it. It is impossible for me to seperate amit and my childhood!

My whole childhood flashed in front of my eyes when I heard the tragic news. His age is not an age you associate with dying. Oh God! why him??? A chance to lead a 'full' life was the least he deserved!!

Winds of Change

Time flies. I remember we use to have this ritual in school where every day one of us was responsible for writing a proverb or a famous quote on the top of the black board. Many a quotes zoomed by without, I doubt, any of us paying any serious attention. But, of late, the quotes have come alive… a la matrix like green code zipping down my memory screen. ‘Change is the only constant in life’, ‘Health is Wealth’, ‘Try and Try till you succeed’, ‘you cannot shake hands with a clenched fist’… well u get the picture.

Last six-seven months have seen a change like no other. Left the job. Opted for an entrepreneurial life-style by starting my own company. Got married. Left the bachelor pad to a settled ‘grahasti’ mode. Sold my beloved bike. The list goes on. Needless to say, Change has been the only constant in my life. And the work-life has ensured that every other proverb or quote I ever came across (especially some in lousy chain emails) got a chance to prove their validity (almost as-if to mock me ... saying.. ‘See I always made sense’ (smile)).

Well, the highlight was clearly the marriage. Marriage was, typically, hectic. But, it was a fairly elegant affair and was just the way I wanted it (minus the shoshaa). I enjoyed most of the rituals and some I thought were repetitive. The panditji of-course didn’t endorse my viewpoint. I had pre-decided that I will enjoy the occasion and not be overwhelmed by ‘spotlight-on-me’ syndrome, and, luckily I did just that. I could enjoy the occasion a trifle more as the parents seemed to enjoy it too. The one lesson I learnt during the occasion was the importance of getting both set of families on board. In love-marriages, when families initially see conflict, it is easiest to either overlook their concern and do your own thing, or, totally drop the plan. Both approaches lead to significant stress later. A middle approach of persisting till everybody comes on board and happily too, is the best approach and though this is the hardest and seems impossible at a point, it is the only one which will lead to lasting satisfaction. Trust me on this one! I didn’t know this but was luckily course-corrected at the right juncture by a wise-man.

Post-marriage, the proverbs/quotes in school were not the only one which came back to me after a ‘lost in eternity’ phase. The history textbook went all ‘live’ on me, when I went to Egypt for my honeymoon. Somehow, history has always fascinated me more than any other subject. In fact, I would go as far to say that History is equivalent to ‘Tests’ in cricket – timeless and sublime, while science and math are more like ‘one day’ and ‘T20’ versions delving on spontaneity and thrill. So I was saying history really fascinates me (sometimes I act like Calvin – super distracted). Coming back to history and Egypt, my choice of Egypt for the honeymoon destination was met with surprise, ridicule, awe and sometimes even ignorance. History thrives on memories and this once-in-a-lifetime trip just had to have the backdrop of history to transcend the experience to a ‘memorable’ status. Beautiful location and Privacy are apparently two most cited reasons for choice of a honeymoon location, but, I refuse to believe that those are the only two… history has its own charm and can be beautifully romantic too (smile). I know some of you must be feeling for my poor wife (smile).

We had a great time in Egypt (somehow this had to be the next line after what I said in the previous line). We seriously did. Apparently, there are few things money can buy (twisting a popular ‘MasterCard’ slogan... to make a proverb ...keeping around the central theme...you know). So we experienced - The pyramids, the cruise on the Nile, the city of Alexandria, the temples of Luxor and Aswan… Cleopatra stories…the eye-achingly green Mediterranean sea …papyrus… mummies... in short…I m high on Egypt!! The food was up and down (lived mostly of falafels and shwarmas) but for those who would enjoy the ‘thrill of exploring’ as opposed to sitting inside and staring at the ceiling fan or watching television, I thoroughly enjoyed the place…and by the looks of it…my wife enjoyed it too (I swear.. it does look like that (smile)).

The only grouse, and a minor one I had at that, was the gargantuan tipping culture prevalent in Egypt. The country’s economy derives a substantial portion of its revenues from tourism I hear, but that still is no excuse for ‘asking’ for baksheesh for every service rendered. But barring the tipping issue, and one freak incident, where a security guard at the Cairo airport refused to give us our passports without baksheesh, I would say the trip was excellent and truly memorable.

Post-honeymoon, it was all about settling down, both on personal front and professional front. And last six months, I did just that. Recently, a friend of mine asked me why don’t write my blog anymore. And I realized that I had totally forgotten about it. When I read the last few of my blogs, I realized that my life was so different then. The office-home routine, the bachelor-pad existence, junking on bike… time surely flies!!