The Oracle

Thank you for making our childhood special - obituary for Amit Wagle

2010-06-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

May 29th, 2010 began as any other harmless day. In fact it was like that till I received a call from one of dear friends. Two minutes later I was in a state of shock. I could not believe what my friend just told me. How could this happen. Why him? A million thoughts came streaming in and I felt completely overwhelmed by the moment.

On the fateful day, Amit Wagle, one of my oldest friends, had a seizure attack and died on-the-spot in a mumbai local train. He was a year or so elder to me.

Amit and I used to stay in the same lane of our colony 'Saraswati Baug' in Jogeshwari, Mumbai. Infact, our houses were opposite each others. As kids from the same colony we regularly bumped into each other. I very distinctly remember our first meeting. We were, I believe, six or seven years old then, we met for the first time on a green patch of land opposite rasika's house. Mangesh wagle (lovingly referred to as mangu) his distant cousin was also there. The three of us decided to start a cricket team. But before, we could start we argued on who would captain this team (smile). Since, mangu was the youngest, he was asked to chose between Amit and I. Surprisingly, mangesh chose me. Amit sulked for a bit and ordered a re-election. He even wanted to drag his blood-brother sumit to cast a vote as sumit would surely vouch for him. But since sumit didn't want to be a part of this cricket team, we argued that his vote didn't count. So the cricket team was formed with three members. Irrespective of this not-so-auspicious start, it kick-started a warm friendship that was to last next 24 years and endured every conceivable sport from cricket, soccer, hand-tennis, carrom, chess, cards to even paper-boat competitions, and, every conceivable weather condition from playing under noon sun, to torrential downpour and even under flood lights.

Initially, we played under-arm cricket below shardul's house and some of my most pleasant memories are associated with that time. We played cricket daily and the routine was as fixed as say brushing teeth or taking a shower. Every day after school, we'd show up at the same place. There was no need to invite anybody (except occasionally during exam times, when parents didn't share our enthusiasm towards the game). We were joined by satesh and shardul sometimes. Sriram Kini would occasionally join us but always as the umpire (with his stark clean white kurta and pair of spectacles, sriram definitely 'looked' his part). But, cricket we played, with all our heart. Amit, mangu and I played fierce cricket. We used to compete like our lives depended on it. But at the end of the game, we would put our arms around each other and merrily talked gibberish. It was friendship at its best.

As we grew, we decided to join the colony elder's team (rakesh rane, umesh asgaonkar, chaitanya diwekar, tejesh rane, tejas sakholkar etc.). The three of us played with the colony elder's for a while, but, didn't like the treatment meted to us. So, we decided to split and form our own team. It was a big decision as it meant not being allowed to play on the colony's biggest patch of cricket ground. I very distinctly remember the acrimonious split. We had each paid ten rupees to be a part of the elder's team. When we left, we demanded our money back. I remember being given one rupee sixty paise back then (smile). Ah! those were the days.

Amit, mangu and I decided to form our own cricket team. And we chose the patch of land, opposite simit bagwe's house. We added Dhiraj sharma, Rahul Pandey and Shahil to our team. Thereafter, chirag shah and Siddarth kini joined us. We played many matches on the Ismail cricket ground with this team. Initially, the prize money for the match with teams from neighboring colonies was a princely sum of 3.50 rupees (the then prize of a rubber cricket ball). The prize money slowly increased to tens and fifties. We won many a matches and with it a lot of money too. At one point, the Sangli vaibhav cricket team owed us 110 rupees, which was a lot those days. We defeated both the Mangalya team and the Dena bank team in their own backyards.

Then we added mangesh naik, abhishek dhume, sachin thakur and devendra thakur to our team. Simit bagwe and viraj kasbekar joined us towards the end of the decade. As the team grew in strength, we moved to a patch of land opposite, simit bagwe's house to the main patch before babu sir's house. It was our time in the sun. We relaid the cricket pitch and organized a cricket tournament for the first time. It was a big achievement for us and especially the three who had started a team by bickering over captaincy (smile).

All, this while amit played with a unwavering dedication to the team. For the first decade, he was the vice-captain of the team. He opened the batting and was a safe fielder, and, with his long legs an asset in the deep. As the team grew in strength, younger members over-shadowed him. Rather, more vocal and ambitious members over-shadowed him. He never argued and rarely voiced his opinion in team meetings in a forceful way. As a result, he got increasingly side-lined with regard to responsibilities. But he never missed a match and as a captain, I could always bank upon him to give his 100 percent. He dearly loved the team and i remember many a passionate discussions on the composition of the team and strategy to be adopted for the matches with him. The juniors called him 'Wagle ki duniya' (in line with a popular tele-serial) or Amti-dumpty, but, he always took it in the spirit it was meant.

Amit and I shared a bonhomie that is difficult to put into words. We were not soul friends or anything like that, in the sense, we didn't discuss family, girlfriends or kept secrets with each other. But, we stayed together through thick and thin. We supported each other on the field and in a way, it was difficult to imagine a game without both of us. As we grew older, I became more close to some of the newer team members, but we never lost the friendship we had.

After I left mumbai, we sporadically kept in touch through the net. But whenever we used to meet, it used to be like I never had gone away. I kept meeting him increasingly less frequently as my mumbai visits reduced to a trickle. The team had disbanded since i left, and, amit had not made any new friends since then. Every time, we met, we talked about our good ol'days of how good a time we had. And great time we really had!!

When not playing cricket, amit played with his toy red-bus and some toy-cars he had. He infact had engineered a small cement slope so that his bus/cars could come up the drive-way and park. He was pretty nifty in making paper-planes and boats too. And during rainy season, he could make boats pretty much out of anything - paper, tree leaves or whatever he could get his hands on.

Occasions were a feast. Especially, diwali, holi and ganpati festival. During ganpati festival, we used to have a highly competitive carrom tournament. And amit was very good in carrom. I remember, he was first one amongst us to have a 'champion board' (a tournament-sized board with extra smooth surface) and we used to practice on the champion board for hours, rehearsing every shot, every angle we might encounter in a match situation. The day the tournament draw was to be put up was a highly eventful day and met with much anxiety. We all sat together for ganpati aartis and danced merrily at the ganpati immersion. The whole team always traveled together. For example, for laxmi poojan at North kanara GSB bank, the entire team would march together to have samosas and gold-spot. This trend stayed even when our team size increased to 20 but we still went together like we were glued together.

Around the whole of last week of december, saraswati baug used to organise stage-plays (marathi nataks). So a huge pandal used to be erected in the centre of the cricket ground and one marathi play used to be enacted daily at night after dinnertime. The entire colony used to congregate and for our team, it just meant spending more time together. We used to sit together, and, in the interval break, amit used to reserve our seats while we fetched warm wada-pavs and tea to go with the chilly decemeber nights. Amit rarely ate outside food, so, he used to reserve our seats for us while we wolfed down the wada-pavs.

Two decades is a long time to have a bagful of memories. If those two decades coincided with the best part of your childhood then you can safely multiply the count of memories by a couple of hundreds. Each of my special childhood memories, whether be it cricket match victories, carrom matches, december night outings at nataks, playing with toy-cars, laxmi-poojan at NKGSB bank to occasions like diwali/holi/ganpati festival had Amit in it. It is impossible for me to seperate amit and my childhood!

My whole childhood flashed in front of my eyes when I heard the tragic news. His age is not an age you associate with dying. Oh God! why him??? A chance to lead a 'full' life was the least he deserved!!

Winds of Change

2010-06-25T02:53:00.000-07:00

Time flies. I remember we use to have this ritual in school where every day one of us was responsible for writing a proverb or a famous quote on the top of the black board. Many a quotes zoomed by without, I doubt, any of us paying any serious attention. But, of late, the quotes have come alive… a la matrix like green code zipping down my memory screen. ‘Change is the only constant in life’, ‘Health is Wealth’, ‘Try and Try till you succeed’, ‘you cannot shake hands with a clenched fist’… well u get the picture.

Last six-seven months have seen a change like no other. Left the job. Opted for an entrepreneurial life-style by starting my own company. Got married. Left the bachelor pad to a settled ‘grahasti’ mode. Sold my beloved bike. The list goes on. Needless to say, Change has been the only constant in my life. And the work-life has ensured that every other proverb or quote I ever came across (especially some in lousy chain emails) got a chance to prove their validity (almost as-if to mock me ... saying.. ‘See I always made sense’ (smile)).

Well, the highlight was clearly the marriage. Marriage was, typically, hectic. But, it was a fairly elegant affair and was just the way I wanted it (minus the shoshaa). I enjoyed most of the rituals and some I thought were repetitive. The panditji of-course didn’t endorse my viewpoint. I had pre-decided that I will enjoy the occasion and not be overwhelmed by ‘spotlight-on-me’ syndrome, and, luckily I did just that. I could enjoy the occasion a trifle more as the parents seemed to enjoy it too. The one lesson I learnt during the occasion was the importance of getting both set of families on board. In love-marriages, when families initially see conflict, it is easiest to either overlook their concern and do your own thing, or, totally drop the plan. Both approaches lead to significant stress later. A middle approach of persisting till everybody comes on board and happily too, is the best approach and though this is the hardest and seems impossible at a point, it is the only one which will lead to lasting satisfaction. Trust me on this one! I didn’t know this but was luckily course-corrected at the right juncture by a wise-man.

Post-marriage, the proverbs/quotes in school were not the only one which came back to me after a ‘lost in eternity’ phase. The history textbook went all ‘live’ on me, when I went to Egypt for my honeymoon. Somehow, history has always fascinated me more than any other subject. In fact, I would go as far to say that History is equivalent to ‘Tests’ in cricket – timeless and sublime, while science and math are more like ‘one day’ and ‘T20’ versions delving on spontaneity and thrill. So I was saying history really fascinates me (sometimes I act like Calvin – super distracted). Coming back to history and Egypt, my choice of Egypt for the honeymoon destination was met with surprise, ridicule, awe and sometimes even ignorance. History thrives on memories and this once-in-a-lifetime trip just had to have the backdrop of history to transcend the experience to a ‘memorable’ status. Beautiful location and Privacy are apparently two most cited reasons for choice of a honeymoon location, but, I refuse to believe that those are the only two… history has its own charm and can be beautifully romantic too (smile). I know some of you must be feeling for my poor wife (smile).

We had a great time in Egypt (somehow this had to be the next line after what I said in the previous line). We seriously did. Apparently, there are few things money can buy (twisting a popular ‘MasterCard’ slogan... to make a proverb ...keeping around the central theme...you know). So we experienced - The pyramids, the cruise on the Nile, the city of Alexandria, the temples of Luxor and Aswan… Cleopatra stories…the eye-achingly green Mediterranean sea …papyrus… mummies... in short…I m high on Egypt!! The food was up and down (lived mostly of falafels and shwarmas) but for those who would enjoy the ‘thrill of exploring’ as opposed to sitting inside and staring at the ceiling fan or watching television, I thoroughly enjoyed the place…and by the looks of it…my wife enjoyed it too (I swear.. it does look like that (smile)).

The only grouse, and a minor one I had at that, was the gargantuan tipping culture prevalent in Egypt. The country’s economy derives a substantial portion of its revenues from tourism I hear, but that still is no excuse for ‘asking’ for baksheesh for every service rendered. But barring the tipping issue, and one freak incident, where a security guard at the Cairo airport refused to give us our passports without baksheesh, I would say the trip was excellent and truly memorable.

Post-honeymoon, it was all about settling down, both on personal front and professional front. And last six months, I did just that. Recently, a friend of mine asked me why don’t write my blog anymore. And I realized that I had totally forgotten about it. When I read the last few of my blogs, I realized that my life was so different then. The office-home routine, the bachelor-pad existence, junking on bike… time surely flies!!

Sunday Bloody Sunday

2009-10-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

Sunday Morning is an event in itself. There is no set pattern of things to follow - and this little fact has the potential of spiraling your life in chaos. A friend called - even before i could get up from my bed. 'Morning' he chirped from the other end. My mind caught up to that word and I started thinking why people have stopped saying 'Good Morning' and opted for just 'Morning'. Does it cost to add a 'Good' in front of your morning? Or maybe by saying 'Good Morning' you are assuming that the other person is actually having a Good morning and the truth may be contrary, and you don't want to be presumptuous? Or maybe in the age of fast food, SMS and Twenty-20, you are just running short of time and want to clip the Good out of the morning!! My mind began to spin with so many thoughts competing for attention (all this thinking while my friend was presumably talking something important at the other end). I secretly blamed the Sunday morning for it. If it was any other day, I would have a set plan to follow and that in turn would have made me more attentive - for would it?

The phone call over, time for some good ol' chai and newspaper routine. One thing I really love about Sunday Mornings - is the newspaper. Nowadays, it is almost the size of a small book (I wonder how come nobody has filed a Public Interest Litigation for the amount of trees they demolish for making one newspaper out of it) - but it is entertaining nonetheless. The editorials and the HT Brunch are usually nice read. Today, HT brunch has the 'Twitter Phenomena' on its cover. Twitter or the microblogging concept is the latest craze that has seemed to catch everyone's attention. On reading the article, I felt, that blogs like mine have now become equivalent to Test Cricket whose fate is being debated in light of the latest onslaught of T-20 version of blogging. Some old wisecrack might soon ominously comment - there is scope for both formats to co-exist peacefully (smile)!!!

The first thing I noticed about the article on Twitter is the slang that it seems to have developed - like a language of its own. For instance, tweets for microblogs or twitterati (people most followed on twitter ? i guess). The article also made a unfavourable reference to its networking cousins - Facebook and Orkut. According to that article, to be on Twitter, and be followed by other people - your opinion should be respected - and that can come only from being of a slightly older (or read as wiser) age-group. I don't think the parents of Twitter would like this sort of classification (tantamount to repelling the young crowd - which in 'Young India' (sic), would be nothing less than sacrilige). I don't think the article got it right. Methinks tweets are as good as their cousins. What Mallika sherawat or Priyanka chopra did for the day - is 'not' infinitely wiser than selling vegetables using farmville on Facebook (smile).

I am a little confused with the options available for social networking. Though I haven't explored any one in detail, and, my knowledge about each is as undercooked as any for a reasonable opinion, I wonder whether any of these serves any role other than entertainment. It is for this reason that I am a little wary of starting out on Twitter, lest it meets the fate of my Facebook account. Let me explain. When I first joined Orkut, I thot it was fun. I could actually meet people from forgotten eras and it was fun till it lasted. Then, the orkut msges became increasingly clipped - 'Long time no hear' types. Then Facebook came along. Though i signed up for a Facebook account, i never really warmed up to it. I had already made the connections during the Orkut phase and reinventing the wheel with Facebook seemed too laborious. Plus uploading the pics on both and writing what i am upto at this precise moment didn't seem worth it. Ohh, I am aware that i don't have a clue as to what fun things that can done on Facebook - opening fortune cookies for instance, or, knowing how good my hindi is, based on some survey questions. Yes, i can live without that sort of fun in my life. So, I will hold off inundating my opinions on helpless souls on twitter, at least for the time being.

Time to read the next article - it is about MNS and Raj Thakre and Bombay/Mumbai debate. This sort of news really spoils my mood (meaning turns 'Good Morning' into just Morning). I think there is a simple way to deal with the problem of states like Maharashtra. The magic way is surprisingly through taxes. In the US, the taxes are classified into a State Tax and a Federal Tax. Here, we have just one lumped component. Whatever tax money is generated, it goes straight to the central government, which then distributes the money to all the states. So, the states which are not doing well, have no incentive to do better - as in they will get money anyways. Whereas the star performing states are penalised. If the existing tax system is broken down into a State Tax component and Central Government tax component, then the money generated from the people working in the state goes to the state itself. Raj Thakre or any other politician would not have any reason to complain about north indians and would infact invite peope to come as it would mean more money for the state. Other states would also be nudged to do better as they would have to create an infrastructure that keeps people in their own state. So it is a win-win situation for all. It looks like a surprisingly simple solution for our problems and one that is already employed in the US. I dont know why we are offended to take precedence from the US. We borrowed heavily in each sphere from the UK. Why not think of solutions to our problems from other nations too? And we could take only the Good. For instance, we are better off staying away from the Social Security System in the US or the healthcare system in the UK - as we can now see - that they are counterbeneficial in the long run. But the Good things we can employ. We already borrow liberally from Hollywood (Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan have gone on record spouting anger on mention of Bollywood and maintained that it should be 'Hindi Cinema', methinks, first stop copying on a consistent basis and ppl will call you Hindi Cinema (smile)). So, back to borrowing the Good, I think we can try to see whether such a system can benefit us and infact encourage our states to do better.

Too much thinking for a Sunday morning. I decide to give up the newspaper and switch on the television. What do i see. No it is not National Geographic. But it is a good guess. The television is beaming pictures of 'Rakhi Sawant'. She seems to be man-handling a child. I wonder who entrusted their child to her. I switch channels - guess what - it is Rakhi Sawant's mom being booted off Big Boss. I switch off the TV set. I infact make the effort of putting a dust cover on the TV set, so that i can wipe off the images from my mind. Did U2 's Bono have this Sunday in mind when he sang - Sunday, Bloody Sunday??

Been There, Done That – Ladakh Diary – I

2009-09-06T04:53:00.000-07:00

In the movie ‘Dasvidaniya’, Vinay Pathak makes a list of “Things of do before death” and proceeds to tick off each item on the list en route to certain death. The 2007 Hollywood release ‘Bucket List’, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, echoes similar sentiments. Though the movies are strictly average, I was curious of what my list would look like. "I don’t need to wait till I face certain death to start making my own list" – was my logic (Its amazing how I can justify everything I want to do with crystal clear erroneous logic). I decided to make the list. At the outset, I decided not to restrict myself to ten or any such number and categorize items under sub-headings, such as – ‘Must travel places’, ‘Must eat food’, ‘Must experience thrill’ and there was a random category – simply labeled - 'Must Experience' (included all things that I couldn’t categorize under one sub-heading, for example – switching from Windows to Mac laptop or experience climbing the pyramids in Egypt or even experiencing the Hammam in Turkey).

The Must travel places had two sections – India and abroad (I hate being managerial even in fun activities… it’s sick… but I think it’s too late to change myself now). The India section had some very interesting names – Wayanad in Kerala for instance, where you could climb up a mechanically pulled plank (equivalent of an elevator) to reach a machaan/tree-house almost 60 feet high and overlooking the adjoining forest (wow) or the swampland - Sunderbans on the Eastern border (infested with the man-eating tigers). Leh, Ladakh - like all things associated with region – was perched high and mighty in the list. Somehow, this place has been the bugbear for many. I know so many people who forever want to visit the place and never make it. Almost everybody wants to go there on a motorcycle. So did yours truly (‘yours truly’ is such an outdated phrase with a Dickensian feel to it, it should be banned).

Leh the capital city of Ladakh is something else. For one the altitude is unlike anything you would experience in any part of India. Second, it is accessible only during a narrow window in a year, again unlike most places in India. Third, if you are a motorcycle enthusiast, then the preparation is unlike... well……it's different.

I wanted to do the Delhi-Leh trip on a motorcycle – and what better than Royal Enfield ‘Thunderbird’ to give me company. I checked out the time it would take to reach Leh from Delhi (Both Delhi-Manali-Leh route and Delhi-Srinagar-Leh route) and found out that the 900+ km odd journey would roughly take 2½ days to 3 days. After that, riding the motorcycle from Leh to Khardungla en route to Nubra Valley would take another 2 days (335 – 375 km round trip), to and fro from Pangong Lake (340 km round trip) would take another 2 days, one day spent probably local sightseeing in Leh and 3 days back – so in all it would take a minimum of 11 days of non-stop riding in hilly terrain, along some of the most dangerous but divinely beautiful routes. It was exhilarating, no doubt. This time I didn’t bother to ask my friends to join me. I knew the plan would never take-off with the ‘more the merrier’ paradigm. So I tried to find trip organizers who arrange for motorcycle enthusiasts to travel in groups. Alas, their charge was too much. One such Delhi trip organizer plans a 15 day extravaganza, and the charge without the bike rental is 35000 INR ‘only’ (and with the bike rental it goes up to a cool 50k). The organizers were definitely out. So it meant either shelving the plan altogether or going alone. Now, going on solo trips, is nothing new to me. Ya, been there done that, but this was different. This was not some ordinary trip. I didn’t know the routes, didn’t know what to take with me, didn't even know what problems I might encounter or anything of this sort. It looked like I would have to shelve the plan. But luckily, I met this guy, who had traveled with 5 of his closest buddies to Leh only last year. And like in the mythological serials, he said “thatastu, all your questions will be answered. Just log onto w, w, w bcmtouring.com” and off he went…poof…vanished into thin air (super-exaggeration is good for health, I was told by my doting grandmother).

http://www.bcmtouring.com/travel-guides/ladakh-travel-guide/index.html

BCM stands for bikes, cars, and motorcycles and it is truly an awesome website, especially for planning a trip to Ladakh. Research the above website thoroughly and believe me it will answer all your questions (and I have no stake in the website). It has all the skinny on distances, routes, tips on motorcycle-maintenance, information about high-altitude sickness and medicines to counter the same, and stuff like that. So, I started preparing myself. I have a Pulsar 150, which is gr8 bike but I really wanted to do this on the Enfield Thunderbird.(Inset picture: Royal Enfield "Thunderbird")
I decided to first learn the mechanics of bike maintenance – changing the spare tire (this little maneuver itself requires you to carry so much equipment – a small hand pump, spare tubes etc.), setting the chain, replacing a snapped clutch wire and so on and so forth. While I was deep into this, I happened to chance upon this guy again (reappeared from thin air). And he said in true mythological serial-style “Vatsa, don’t do this alone”. And he vanished again. He is one mythical character, I’ll tell you. Almost everybody I met from thereon echoed the same sentiment - 11 days of traveling alone would be tough – the motorcycle will guaranteed break down and I would have to lug it up and down the slopes to faraway mechanic garages, which doing alone would be an effort.

Anyways, attempts of trying to find a gang to tag along were turning futile - 11 days of nonstop riding was proving to be decisive in the “yes/no” calculations. In the end, I was back to square one. Then somebody suggested that I could go by air from Delhi to Leh and do all the crazy riding in Leh. I pooh-poohed the idea, as it meant I would miss the Rohtang pass and most importantly the incredibly scenic Keylong pass on the Manali highway en route to Leh. But coming to think of it, this would save me 6 days, I could still rent the bike, and an Enfield “Thunderbird” at that, and take it to Khardungla (the highest motorable road in the world) and the images I had seen of the Pangong Lake had told me that enough magical beauty awaited me in Leh. In hindsight, this was the best decision I made. Agreed, I missed the beauty of the Manali highway (I did cover some part of the equally beautiful Srinagar highway….more on this later), but what I saw in Leh and the amount of back-breaking riding I did while in Leh, I think in hindsight it was an awesome decision.

So I went to Leh from Delhi, aboard a Kingfisher flight. It takes barely an hour or something like that to reach there. The Leh Kushok Bakula Rimpochee airport at the altitude of ~11000 feet is one of the highest in the world. As soon as you alight, you can almost feel the stare of the imposing ‘light brown mountain range’ (Inset picture: Mountain range welcomes you to Leh)

The weather was pleasant and I didn’t need a jacket or anything. ‘Welcome to Leh’ screamed a nearby hoarding. Finally, I was here and I could almost feel the goose-bumps. I took a pre-paid taxi to the main market. (Somehow, this is always the best bet when you arrive in a city – pre-paid taxi to the main market). I reached at around 8 in the morning and the city was just waking up to tourists. I had a list of possible accommodation options so I decided to try them one by one. Almost all of them were full. Not a great start. A local suggested that I should try the Changspa area as it has some neat options (cheaper than the rates they charged near the market) and is accessible to the main market by foot. So to Changspa I went. I checked into Larchang Guest House at around 9 where I was generously offered “Nun chai” (I was told that “Nun” is Hindi for salt, and, though I couldn’t imagine tea with salt in it, the taste was surprisingly pleasant and didn’t have any acidic after-taste of its sugary cousin). The room charges were reasonable – Rs. 400 a day.

The room had surprisingly no fans or any cooling facility. The owner ‘Shamin’ smiled back saying you wouldn’t need one here. And boy, the whole day, not once did I miss the fan or the AC. It was the most perfect weather throughout the day. If only God had been kind enough to extend his mercy a little south to extend up to Delhi/Gurgaon or even to Mumbai. (Inset pictures: Room at the Larchang Guest house)

One of my neighbors was an elderly gentleman - ‘Dilip Samuel’ who worked as a lab doctor at Steel Authority of India (SAIL) in Chattisgarh. He too had come alone (sans the wife and the kids). Both Dilip and the Shamin advised me to curb my enthusiasm and plan all activities for the next day, as the body needs to get used to the altitude. In my mind, I was thinking, “Go Captain Go” you didn’t haul up your backside all the way to Leh to sit and rest. I was yearning for the motorcycle and some quality riding time. But better sense prevailed.

Been There, Done That – Ladakh Diary – II

2009-09-06T02:53:00.000-07:00

I utilized the day to explore the City and check on the motorcycle renting scene. Stanzin Dorjey is the owner of T.S Adventures and runs a business of renting motorcycles and cars. Stanzin informed me that I would first have to apply for a permit if I wish to go to Nubra Valley and Pangong Lake. The permit is sort of a visa allowing restricted access to some of the militarized areas. He said, he could arrange the permit for around 150 bucks (you could do this permit thing on your own and save yourselves around 50 bucks but we decided to get it done through him as a lot depended on it). The cost of renting the Enfield Thunderbird was Rs. 700 a day. Dilip didn’t know how to ride but he agreed to tag along. So we applied for the permit, and, readied ourselves to ride to Khardungla (or K-top as it is called in these parts of the world) next day.

But, to our misfortune, there was a strike in the department issuing the permit and we were told that it would take 2-3 days for the settlement. Now, this little piece of misfortune had the potential of destroying everything I had planned to do. So, when we went next day, we did not get the permit and plus we had already paid Rs. 700 as motorcycle charges for the day. So I decided to take the motorcycle for a ride in the city and see some of the local sights. It turned out to be a good decision. I had never ridden the Thunderbird before. It took me some time getting used to its raw power. And plus I had never ridden up and down nasty slopes. So the day was an excellent primer for me to get used to what I would encounter going to K-top. We took the motorcycle on the beautiful Srinagar Highway and saw some memorable vistas. The beauty was truly breathtaking. We took pit-stops to see the Kargil-Hall of Fame Museum, the Spituk Monastery, the Magnetic Hill and finally the confluence point of the rivers Indus and Zanskar near Nimu. The Magnetic Hill is a small stretch of road on the Srinagar Highway where the vehicle travels on its own without acceleration (apparently a magnetic field pulls the vehicle so that it moves even without engine power). I didn’t believe it – so I switched off the engine of the motorcycle – and swear to God the damn heavy motorcycle moved. You could also do rafting on the Zanskar. The ride was stunningly beautiful and almost everything looked surreal.(Inset pictures: Srinagar Highway, Kargil Memorial, Magnetic Hill and Indus-Zanskar confluence)
In the evening I went to Shanti Stupa and the Leh Palace. Leh Palace is pretty ordinary, but both Shanti Stupa and Leh Palace offer stunning views of the City of Leh (check the inset pictures) and if not for anything else one must visit these places for the vistas.(Inset pictures: views from Shanti Stupa and Leh Palace)
After being on the road for most of the day, we decided to end the day hoping that we get the permit at least the next day. Early morning on the next day, news filtered in that the strike was still on. And that was as bad a news we could get. But, luckily, Stanzin had pulled a minor miracle and managed to get us the permit. I really owe him for that one. So the trip to K-top was on. I quickly rushed to my room, readied the bag, put on an extra jacket (as it would get really cold at 18000 ft), carried gloves and glasses and also took medicine (such as diamox, for encountering any high altitude sickness). I was a shade worried about taking Dilip with me as he is 50+ and I wasn’t sure whether he would endure the stress of change in altitude from almost 11000 ft to 18000 ft. But endure he did. And what an achievement it was. Khardungla or the K-top is almost 45 km uphill from the City of Leh. Just 45 km! But in those 45 km, you move almost 7000 ft up. The ride is ok initially, but later on it gets tough. On one side, you have the deep valley to contend with and the other side there is landslides. So basically, the width of the road is such that only one truck can pass and you have to be extra careful on the turns which are as treacherous as any. The road gets really bad towards the last 10 km or so and you have to contend with driving on stones and gravel (while keeping your balance as toppling would mean a crash-landing of 7000 ft). Reaching the “World’s Highest motorable pass” (18,380 ft) is a moment I won’t ever forget. It was divine. Dilip somehow held up to that point, but he was in no mood to ride an extra 120 km to Nubra Valley. So we had to return. It took us roughly 5 hours to do the 90 kms and boy it was exhilarating. (inset pictures: en route to Khardungla (K-top)

Next day, we went to Pangong Lake. And that is 170 kms one way. The road is terrible and on the way, you go through Chang-la (which at 17856 ft. is the World’s third highest motorable pass), which is also known as the “Mighty Chang-la” as it is really tough to get here. The road is twice as bad as enroute to K-top and for twice as long stretches. This journey is definitely not for those with weak backs. But I have to say, that on the way, you come across stretches which words can do no justice to. Every now and then, the Indus river joins you, the dark brown mountains suddenly give away to greenest of green pastures (and you could even see Yaks grazing), and that coupled with crystal blue sky is truly heavenly. As if the build up to Pangong is not enough, the climax is fitting. Pangong lake at almost 15000 ft is as beautiful as any in the World (you could see seven shades of blue… yes ... seven... its crazy beautiful here). You could camp overnight and be fed standard lunch/dinner or maggi and chai. We just opted for the later. (inset pictures: Pangong Lake at almost 15000 ft)

Last day, in Leh, we decided to do some touristy shopping. Apricots are a rage in this part of the city. So I helped myself to some. The Pashima shawls are famous (didn’t buy them though) but the fabrics are decent and some Leh T-shirts ofcourse. The day was spent relaxing from all the riding of the previous days. In Leh, I made a lot of friends – Dilip from Chattisgarh (the discussions we had about naxal movement and Salwa Judem were fascinating), Shamin the owner of the guest house (he was my guidebook informing me about the life in Leh and his “nun chai” were the absolute best), Stanzin (the motorcycle rent guy) went out of the way to get the permit arranged, and the other “Dilip” the owner of Little Café which served the most delicious paranthas and dal-chawal-subzi-roti lunch. The people here are as good as any you would meet anywhere on the planet and that just adds to the beauty this place has to offer. All the adjectives: beautiful, magical, stunning, heavenly, breathtaking, I think, were coined with Leh in mind.

The Bad, the Good and the Ugly

2009-06-27T04:57:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson is no more. Sad. Period. There is nothing I could say that has not been already printed in the last few days. Well, there is something that I believe is not known much about him though. I stumbled upon it, and, it surprised the hell out of me. Michael Jackson holds a US patent to his name. Could you believe it!!!

He apparently "invented" a system for allowing a shoe wearer to lean forward beyond his center of gravity. Scientists at NASA - please take a bow. If you don't believe me - Check out the link - http://v3.espacenet.com/publicationDetails/biblio?CC=US&NR=5255452&KC=&FT=E , and, the invention featured in the music video 'Smooth Criminal' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smooth_Criminal#Anti-gravity_lean). I have been working in the field of Intellectual Property for a while now, and, I really cannot imagine Jackson, a "Moonwalking" genius with greatness matching that of Elvis Presley and Beatles, in the mold of say, an Edison. But, boy, the world is full of surprises!

My fondest memory related to him was quite stupid actually, but, i actually derived quite a lot of fun from it. There was this 'Talent Competition for Kids' and some of my friends were performing. One of my dear friends, tried to do a break-dance jig. He tried to moonwalk, but, even Jackson would have found it difficult to moonwalk on carpet (lol). My friend tried and tried and we cheered him on, but he didn't move an inch, and then finally he Earth-walked himself off the platform. He was called "Maika-lal Jaikishen" or "Indian Jackson" after that performance.

Jackson's death apart, the other bad news for me, was India crashing out of the T20 World Cup. I really thought, we had a very good team and we could do some decent damage. But Alas, the only damage that was done.... was to us. Pakistan, winning, (and Younis grinning while Afridi saying that India was afraid to play Pakistan) just added salt to wounds. Forget Pakistan. The way we lost was disappointing to say the least. There is this camp - which is proclaiming - that Indian fans cannot take defeat in the right spirit, or, like Artherton put it - Indian fans are still immature. Damn You, Artherton, you have no clue what it is to be a Indian Fan. For ages, we have lost and there was a while, when we took defeat for granted. So dont tell us about Spirit and Losing. We know much more about either to spank your backside about it. Maybe, you English are content with inventing a game and then just forgetting about it. But, for a million Indian fans, the case is different. When an Indian team like that comes long, you want to see your time in the Sunshine. Forget Artherton too. Some people are of the opinion that Dhoni is not the one to blame. Please, when you receive a pat on your back for a good performance then a kick on the backside for not performing well, is fair enough. If he had not got out, then we would have lost the match to Bangladesh too. Infact, not only was his batting suban-allah, his wicket-keeping was below par (the missed run-out of Dwayne Bravo cost us the West Indies match) and his captaincy super-disappointing too. (I'm fast running out of adjectives here). Then there is this camp which says - the players were tired from non-stop cricket! Hello! Dhoni would have been far fitter if he was not running with Bipasha Basu in Reebok Ads, or, surfing Facebook in Aircel Ads. Coming to think of it, Indian fans really cannot take defeat well (lol). Apologies to Dhoni & Co. Please start winning again. Like in your Lays Ad - it is Dillogical - after all.

Enough of bad news. Its time for some good news. Roger Federer won (I had a sense of deja vu about this one - almost like Goran Ivansevic's victory at Wimbeldon). Kobe Bryant's Salvation with the Lakers victory in NBA was, well, a relief! Both Federer and Kobe, have removed the lingering doubts about their greatness, once and for all. I wish the same for Sachin - some match saving second innings hundreds in Tests, and, a One-day World Cup victory at home - thats all, Sachin (lol).

Finally, a quick word about me. What about me, I have been harmless, lost in my own world. With the terrible heat, traveling is out of question. I had planned to go to either Ladakh or Lucknow. Ladakh option looked awesome - the Enfield bikers trip from Delhi to Ladakh - was always a dream. Unfortunately, 14 days to go riding a bike, is not probably what my boss would think highly of. Then there was this Lucknow option. I always wanted to visit the land of Tehzeeb (culture), Mushairas (literary evenings, and far different from Mujhras) and Kebabs. But, it is roast-oven hot this time of the year, and, i dont want to end up like a kebab myself. So traveling is out of question. Therefore, I am indulging myself in some reading (currently reading 'Predicatably Irrational' - highly recommended) and swimming. I am learning to swim and boy it is not easy. Firstly, it makes you do a thing which is not natural to you - you breathe in through your mouth and exhale from your nose. Second, it is one activity, which appears terribly ungainly at first but amazingly graceful once you learn it. On my first day, me with my arms flailing about and splashing water on every next kid, wasn't very easy on the eyes. But slowly, i am getting into my groove. Michael Phelps - better watch out. What is it about the word 'Michael' - almost like the name is destined for greatness - Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Michael Schumacher, Michael Phelps and even Michelangelo (if i can squeeze that one in). On second thoughts - my mom should have just named me - Michael Phene!! Life would have been so much easier!

Sand, Color and Folklore - Jaisalmer & Jodhpur Diary - I

2009-03-25T02:29:00.000-07:00

I had experienced the snow in Dalhousie, the sea in Mumbai/Goa and the hilly mountainous terrain in Dharamshala/ McLeod gang. I wanted to experience the desert, next. Somehow, I had imagined that as soon as I enter Rajasthan, I would be greeted by carpets of sand. That myth was broken while on a bike road-trip to Jaipur. But, Jaisalmer was different. There was a guaranteed promise of experiencing the desert. Why is a desert such a big deal, one may ask. Well, you’ll know the answer when you experience one.

Since the planning was left to the last minute, I was all prepared to go alone again. But Abhishek, my colleague at work, chimed in at the time I was booking the tickets and luckily we got the last two tickets on tatkal :). We finally booked ourselves on the Delhi Jaisalmer express scheduled to depart Old Delhi at 5.45 pm and aiming to reach at 12.30 pm the next day. It actually reached at 2.45 pm (making it a 21 hour train journey). Towards the end of the journey, there is a single train track heading to Jaisalmer, so if there is train coming from the opposite direction, our train had to back till a point a station arrived where a twin track facility was provided. Considering the number of times we had to go back and forth, it is a miracle that we managed to reach Jaisalmer.

Also, a warning to those aiming to board the train at Gurgaon - don’t even think about it. Initially we had decided to board the train at Gurgaon, but changed our mind at the last minute and boarded at Old Delhi. The stations leading from Old Delhi up to Gurgaon yielded so many daily commute passengers that soon we were in need of oxygen. Legitimate passengers, who had bought tickets and tried boarding the train at Gurgaon, could only make it till the bogey entrance. I shudder to think that I could have been one of them. Luckily, the passengers alighted as were heading out of Haryana and we literally breathed a sigh of relief. The journey was largely uneventful. Only stations worth mentioning along the way were ‘Pokaran’ (acquired fame during Nuke testing) and ‘Bawal’ (we laughed our hearts out when we saw that signboard announcing Bawal :). No offence here, it’s just funny :).

I had read horror stories of how we would be surrounded by touts when we get down from the train at the Jaisalmer station. Luckily, we weren’t. Maybe we reached at a time, the touts were having an afternoon nap. Anyways, we hired a tata sumo, to take us to the entrance of the Jaisalmer fort. The fort of Jaisalmer is one of its kind, as it is a ‘living’ fort, meaning there are people staying inside the fort - some 6000 odd people. Plus there are hotels, motels and what not. We chose to alight at the fort entrance, because, we wanted to have a look both inside the fort and outside and settle on a decent accommodation. There is a lot of literature (most based on recommendations from the lonely planet travel-guide) as to why visitors shouldn’t stay inside the fort. I found that whole argument erroneous, as there are already 6000 people staying inside the Jaisalmer fort on a permanent basis. Ya, their postal address is actually - Jaisalmer Fort. I don’t think King Jaisal will be too pleased with so many people sharing the same address:).

(Inset picture: Jaisalmer City - Known as the Golden City - known for its uniquely hued stones - which glisten a Golden Shine - especially in the monsoon season)

A tout smartly entered the sumo while we were inside and offered to take us to Hotel Deluxe. While on our way, he mentioned that they also offer the ‘Desert Safari’ which would start in about an hour’s time. That thing - the desert safari - starting within an hour, made us think that we didn’t have much time on hand. We had to decide on a hotel quickly. Ultimately, we decided to go with the tout to his Hotel Deluxe. There was nothing ‘Deluxe’ about the rooms. Since we had to leave for the ‘Desert Safari’ straightaway and were planning to spend the night camping in the desert, we decided not to rent a room. Instead, we requested the tout if he could allow us to use the rooms just for half an hour so that we could freshen up and make our way to the desert. The desert safari cost us a 1000 bucks each - inclusive of 40 km cab ride to Sam (pronounced ‘Summ’) sand dunes, then a 2 km camel ride into the Thar desert, snacks and dinner at a facility in the desert plus an overnight stay in the swiss tents, then the 40 km cab ride back to the city, next morning. Considering these are on-season rates, we found the amount was reasonable (especially since we ended up not paying the room rent altogether). We decided to take the offer. Once in the room, we quickly showered and charged our cell phones and we were on our way to the desert.

When you read about the desert, especially about the barrenness of the land and the scarcity of water in school science textbooks, it doesn’t hit you. But the starkness of it dawns slowly on you - when you experience one. The vegetation is thin, the animals are rare and human activity is almost non-existent for vast stretches of land. And what is staggering is the monotony of it all. You keep staring out of your car window and almost nothing changes.

We made a pit-stop at what looked like the beginning of the "Thar Desert". Here, we were greeted by Micheal and Pappu. Michael and Pappu are names of the camel. Yes, camels have names too. Calm down. And no I was not surprised. Anyways, they made us sit on top of Michael. Sitting on a camel is an art in itself. Well not sitting, but staying on top, actually. The camel raises its hindlegs first and then the forelegs and that can have an affect of you being propelled forward. So you need to be careful, and stay lurched in a forward direction while it stands up. And God help you when they start racing with fellow camels or even coming down a slope with great speed. I will just say - I am not buying a camel ever. Not a good decision. (Inset pictures: Camel ride, Desert Mirage, Entertainment in the desert)

Anyways, the camel ride was good. Michael took us almost 2 kms inside the Thar Desert. We waited and watched the ‘Desert Sunset’. In between, we were approached by touts who offered to show us the place where Bollywood movies such as Refugee, Border and some other non-descript movies, were shot. Our answer was polite but firm - thanks, but no thanks:). The Desert Sunset, was ok, it was redder and seemed to disappear quicker, or maybe that is just my imagination. Anyways, post the Desert Sunset, we were taken to a place called Thar Resorts - Desert Camp. Here we were welcomed and directed to our swiss tents. The tents were amazing. We were then asked to join a central area where a circular pandal was erected with a fireplace right in the center. We, along with fellow tourists gathered around the circular pandal. The fireplace was lit up and we were offered bhujjiyas and chai. The local musicians and dancers then put up a memorable performance and we lapped it up with our round of snacks. We were then escorted to dinner where we were offered local delicacies like Ker Sanghri and Daal Bhatti Choorma. The food, music and the dance all made for one very “Rajasthani” night and I enjoyed it thoroughly. More than the Desert Sunset, I enjoyed the Desert night sky - amazingly lit up by a million stars - truly magical. I will let the pictures doing the talking here. (Inset: Swiss tents, Inside the swiss tent, Circular pandal).

I must say, the first day in Jaisalmer - with the desert experience, the camel ride, the camping and the entertainment was truly worth going all the way.

Sand, Color and Folklore - Jaisalmer & Jodhpur Diary - II

2009-03-25T01:33:00.000-07:00

The next day, we were scheduled to visit the Jaisalmer fort, the Gadisar Lake and the three hawelis. As I said earlier, the Jaisalmer fort is different in the sense that it is a living fort and people actually live inside the fort. The fort is built on Trikuta hills by King Jaisal and hence the name, Jaisal + Mer (comes form “meru” meaning hill). Besides the houses and shops, the fort has seven Jain temples inside - which is surprising because, there are hardly any Jain people residing inside the fort. Apparently, there is a story behind this which goes as follows:

"The original capital of the Bhatti Rajputs was the city of ‘Lodurva’, before King Jaisal built the Jaisalmer fort in 1156. The town of Lodurva is much older than Jaisalmer and was sacked several times, most notably by Mahmud of Ghazni in the 11th century when he was en route to Somnath, and then by Mohammad Ghori in the next century. The latter invasion persuaded Jaisal to abandon Lodurva, and he shifted his capital to Jaisalmer. On one such invasions, the Jain people residing in Lodurva seeked help from King Jaisal, who provided a secret underground passageway for them to enter the fort. Once inside, the fort, the Jains were allowed to practice their religion and were allowed to build the temples inside." So dont be surprised if you find so many people around ordering strict Jain food in Jaisalmaer :). All of the Seven Jain temples are ornately carved and a must visit. The other interesting thing to note was that the fort has 99 turrets. The lack of water meant that there could be no cement to hold those stones together - which is why the stones are arranged in a fashion to mesh with each other. We lunched at a place called “Little Italy” inside the fort and then went shopping. One could buy a lot of leather goodies, such as shoes, jhuttis, and laptop bags and stuff like that here. We wanted to check out this eating joint called ‘Trio’, so headed there next. But, once inside, we saw, almost every customer complaining about the time they have been waiting for food to arrive. So we gave it a skip :). The hotel had arranged a cab for us, so post lunch we went to Gadisar lake, which is apparently a man-made lake. (inset pictures - Jaisalmer Fort and Gadisar Lake)

Boating facility is available here, but we didn’t opt for one. Next up were the ‘Havelis’. Of the three havelis - only one Patwon ki Haveli is worth the visit. The other two are complete shams. In Nathumalji ki Haveli, they stop you as soon as you enter it. Apparently, the owner has rented out that accommodation :). Salim Singh’s Haveli is another such sham - hardly, worth the visit. We were short on time to catch the bus to Jodhpur, so the hotel owner lied to us and claimed that there is only one haveli and other two names are just nicknames of the same one. We didn’t buy his argument and looked up the havelis ourselves. It is sad that two of them turned out this way. On a brighter side - at least we found the hotel owner was lying and that there are three havelis indeed. Bravo Sherlock.

We alighted the bus to Jodhpur around 4 pm in the evening and reached Jodhpur at around 10 in the night (285 Kms in roughly 6 hours). Luckily we had done our research, so we asked the rickshaw driver to take us to the clock tower, which is apparently the central place in the city. The rickshaw driver helped us find an accommodation and we dined and proceeded for a much needed rest.

Next morning, we had breakfast on the terrace. It was easy from here to see why the city was labeled as the “blue city”. Most houses had copper sprayed on the limestone to keep out insects and pests which gave a distinct bluish tinge to the houses. Post breakfast, we proceeded to see the Meherangarh fort. This is easily the best fort I have seen in India and unbelievably well maintained too. They provide you with the option of an Audio tour, which is highly recommended. The audio tour is primarily a set of headphones and a walkie-talkie set with buttons numbered on them. There are numbered signboards posted throughout the fort. On reaching a signboard, one has to press the appropriate digits on the walkie-talkie set to hear about what happened at that spot. Really kool. I loved the whole experience. The fort was clean and all the memorabilia was very well displayed. Plus the stories were fascinating to hear. All in all, the fort was totally worth the visit. (Inset pictures: Jodhpur - Blue City and Meherangarh Fort)

Next up was Jaswant Thada (Thada meaning place of worship or temple). Jaswant Thada is built in the purest of marbles and is basically a temple with an adjoining cemetery. We clicked a few pictures here and proceeded to see the “Umaid Bhavan Palace”. The palace is really grand and equally amazing is the display of vintage cars next to the manicured lawns. Here is a wiki excerpt on the same - ‘The present owner of the Umaid Bhavan Palace is Gaj Singh. He has divided the Palace into three functional parts - a luxury Taj Palace Hotel (in existence since 1972), the residence of the erstwhile royal family, and an area open to public where a small museum displays pictures, arms, swords, and other artifacts of Jodhpur's royal heritage’. We were ushered into four rooms one after the other where all the artifacts were displayed. It was good to read the Gaj Singh and his ancestors dined with Princes Charles, went to salmon fishing in Scotland, boar hunting in Africa and what not. Hmm. This place smells money. (Inset pictures: Jaswant Thada and Umaid Bhavan Palace)

Our rickshaw driver informed us that we must try the Mawa kachori, so we headed to a sweets shop where we feasted on the kachoris, ghevar and pedas. Post the attack on the sweets shop, we headed to Jaipur for a bus back to Gurgaon.

Overall, I loved the Jaisalmer/ Jodhpur experience. On visiting these places, I realized that people here make up for what nature couldn’t provide. The color in these barren lands comes from people and it is noticeable in everything the people do here from the brightly colored clothes, the fluorescent teekas, the incandescent jewelry to the colorful turbans. No wonder, most cities of Rajasthan, such as Jaipur (the pink city), Jodhpur (the blue city) and Jaisalmer (the golden city) have a color associated with it!!!

Millionaire Aamir and Slumdog Ghajini

2009-01-02T00:32:00.001-08:00

First of all, a very happy new year to all those who happened to stumble across my blog. I am sure you all had a blast. Last year on New Year's Eve, I was stuck at my place in Gurgaon. My close friends had all traveled home to a land far far away (shrek-style), and, i didnt feel like attending some of the parties I was invited to. So I ordered some food, got a bottle of wine and watched movies at home. It seems prety lame - when you hear all the firecrackers blowing, the blarring music and general ruckus being created around. But, believe me, i did not have a decent option - so I had "me" for my company. The movies i watched - Taare Zameen Par and Jab we met - turned out be really good, plus the food and wine was top-notch, so all in all, it was the most quiet and fantastic New Years, I had in a while.

This year, again, i decided to watch two movies at least. I watched 'A mighty heart' (a decent movie but definitely not a New Years Eve watch) and Slumdog millionaire. I was totally stunned by Danny Boyle's Slumdog millionaire. The movie is amazingly innocent and the acting of the kids is something that lingers on .. long after the movie is over. Must say - I loved every bit of the movie. Unfortunately, I cannot say that about another movie that i was eagerly waiting for a real long time - Aamir Khan starrer Ghajini. The movie let me down so badly that i wished i had a short term memory loss myself.

Somehow, i feel like ripping the movie to shreds - and i am going to go right into it. Its my blog after all :) . First of all, the title - Ghajini. For a title, like that - i half expected the name of the herione, whose death triggers the sequence of events, to be Ghajini. But, it turned out to be the name of the lame villain in the movie. The villain was neither scary nor had a overpowering presence to have the movie named after him. Neither did Murgadoss create any amount of suspense - as to who Ghajini is. Within, half an hour, you know who Ghajini is. So the title is horribly misappropriate. We can safely ignore the title - because - there is so much else that is wrong with the movie.

Aamir Khan, as Sanjay Singhania, always moves around with a convoy of four cars (a distinct south indian hero touch here). Yet, nobody has seen a picture of him. Asin is shown to be such a nice and sweet person, that you literally fall off the chair. One scene shows her celebrating her New Years by acting like a Santa Claus and distributing gifts among street urchins, while they are sleeping. Or when she describes to a blind man, the scenes unfolding around, while crossing the street (copied from the movie Amelie). She is shown to be such a nice person, that Mother Teresa would have idolised her. Anyways, these are just some of the minor things that irked me.

The biggest difference with Memento, (and i must compare it with Memento because the film is "more than loosely based" on Memento) is the fact that while the director of Memento assumed that the audience is intelligent and will connect the dots, Murgadoss assumed that the audience has an IQ of zero. So forget the non-linear plot of Memento with scenes coming in random order, Ghajini needed somebody to recite even the linear storyline. There was a cop (who surprisingly was dressed in denims and not police wear) who was introduced purely for reading the diary. There was no need for him in the movie later, so he was conveniently killed. The diary served as the medium to recite most of the story line. Nothing was implicit. Even the scene, where they destroy the tatoos on Aamir's body as well as all the evidence, you would expect the next scene... to show that Aamir is terribly lost because he doesnt know anything more. But surprisingly, the destruction of the tatoos and evidence has no effect - as - Jiah Khan - conveniently steps in and picks up the plot as if nothing happened. There are so many things, that could have been better, that you want to go and ask Murgadoss, whether he had short term memory loss when trying to mimic Memento.

I am sure, most Aamir Khan fans would not take kindly to my comments. Dont get me wrong, i like most of his movies. But, Ghajini, after all the marketing, and, posturing as the movie of the year, sadly let me down. I wasn't expecting a Masala film. For that, i would have watched Rab ne bana di jodi. But, masala film it is. It was interesting to hear Aamir talk of Memento. I will just say - let the movie Memento be. Leave it alone. Don't embarass yourself by speaking about it. The movie of the year for me - is defintely - Slumdog millionaire :) Fantastic movie.

A day late and a dollar short

2008-09-10T03:02:00.000-07:00

My long hiatus from writing a blog entry ‘again’ has made me wonder whether it makes sense to give justification every time I delay writing a blog. Giving justification would imply that I am on some sort of schedule which does two things - first, the activity would then be classified as a chore, and WE wouldn’t want a fun activity being reduced to a chore - second, it leaves no scope to make the mistake again (wink wink).

Anyways, this time - believe it not - the reason was too much enthusiasm for writing a blog. It all started with the Kashmir Conflict. I read articles in newspapers/ magazines by S Aiyar, by Vir Sanghvi and then by Arundhati Roy and plus a lot of not-so-famous-but-equally-good journalists, and I wanted to pen down my own thoughts on the same. A number of these articles advocated that - Kashmir should now be made independent of India. The reasons were quite a few, from special treatment given to the state, financial aid given (far more than that given to other states like Bihar), continued failure of governance, mass deaths, never-ending military expenditure, and, finally, and most importantly the principle of self-determination.

Of all these reasons, the only thing that sounded worthy of discussion was - the principle of self-determination - a corollary to the tenets of democracy. The advocators argued that the protests in the Valley were different this time as the people were a part of it and the common man participated in a nonviolent movement, like the ones Gandhiji had employed. The time was therefore due. I, though, have my reservations against granting independence to the troubled territory. Somehow, I cannot help feel that it would set a wrong precedent, especially to some north-eastern states which find themselves in similar mess. Imagine tomorrow, if Madhya Pradesh (right in the centre) decides to go free of India. I know the thought is totally rubbish, but, still plausible. Imagine carving a map of a country with a hole in the middle. I know my mind is working overtime….

Apart from setting the wrong precedent, the other problem, I was told was that the Valley opens access to the Indian mainland, which cannot be good, given our nosey neighbor’s propensity to involve themselves in our internal affairs. But are these reasons - wrong precedent and security concerns - good at denying people their basic rights. I think the solution lies in Governance, good solid governance. Till now, the people in Kashmir have never been given a government they could relate to. I tried to dig up some facts on governance in Kashmir … both pre and post independence and I could not believe some of the mess that our politicians have made in that beautiful place. A whole lot of mess can directly be attributed to Pandit Nehru and Farooque Abdullah. I cannot help but think that so many people lost their lives and such a beautiful place got ruined because of these two. There are so many interesting informational pieces on the net - one such is http://www.kashmir-information.com/ConvertedKashmir/ by Narendra Sehgal - there are many more. There was so much to research about this topic that for a novice-journalist like me… it got a lil too much. Nevertheless, it made an interesting read, and people with time should explore it further.

Recently, I went to Shimla with my friend Valerie who is from France but interning in Bilbao, Spain. She told me that this problem of self-determination is not unique to Kashmir. Even Bilbao has its trouble and is fighting for independence from Spain. Also, I was shocked to hear, that Belgium, which most Indians would consider a peaceful nation, has this great divide between Dutch-speaking north and French-speaking south, and the country might be divided into two. So it is endemic.

Now, I am no Nostradamus predicting the end of the world. Neither am I a practioner of Eschatology (don’t look up the word in the dictionary … it’s not worth it…. I don’t even know why I still have it in my vocabulary). But it sure doesn’t look good.

Next, I picked the topic of Beijing Olympics, and the grand success it has been. The Chinese preparation for the Olympics, Michael Phelps, Usain ‘Insane’ Bolt, our very own medal-winning trio - again the research bug got to me and I ended up with so many interesting pieces…that it will be another ‘Work in Progress’ story. I also wanted to cover the Tata Nano - Mamta Banerjee - Singur story and the mess in Bihar caused by the flooding of the Kosi River. There is so much stuff to write about… that just writing about the probable topics itself makes up a blog entry…Lol… not a bad idea… for next time.

Speaking of Mamta Banerjee and the flood in Bihar, I noticed an alarming trend. Earlier, I was convinced that the politicians did us no good, but irreparable damage is something I cannot digest. Take any state, and you will find a similar story. J&K is a mess because of the politicians. Jharkand is not making any progress till we have the likes of Shibu Soren. We all know about Laloo and Bihar. UP has its own share of problems with Mayawati and Mulayam Singh. West Bengal will implode one-day with Left, Karat and Mamta. Karnataka, the state which could have reached dizzy heights, is destined for mediocrity till we have likes of Deve Gowda (to me he was the worst prime minister we ever had and we ever will), which finally brings me to the curious case of Maharashtra and MNS.

The Raj Thackeray led MNS is at it once again. In reaction to Jaya Bachchan’s statement, they have started chanting the “Marathi Manoos” nara once again. For a political party, I would think, the agenda should at the very least address the problems of common people. Attacking the Bachchan’s and Shah Rukh Khan or even the North Indians is not the way to go about it. I was born and brought up in Mumbai - am a Maharashtrian - and I can claim that Mumbai is as much of Marathi’s as it is of anyone else. MNS would do good to remember that the Portuguese were the first claimants of this land, followed by the British. And if it wasn’t for the Industrialization of the Parsis, Gujratis and Marwadi’s, Mumbai wouldn’t be half of what it is. But I think the worst offender is the Congress. Every time parties like MNS try to get mileage in the media by raising issues like these, Congress seems absolutely incapable of dealing with it. The problem is we have too many DEALERS and too less LEADERS. It ain’t a coincidence that both leaders and dealers are made of exactly same alphabets.

So, in all, I have read and read, with an aim of constructing an interesting, “worthy-of-your-and-my time” piece, but I have nothing to show for it except for a list of probable topics. Ya I know the phrase - A day late and a dollar short!! Next time, I will pick a more a cheerful topic and hopefully will outsource the research! Any takers?

Magical Banaras - I

2008-08-07T08:29:00.000-07:00

I have been planning a trip to Banaras for quite some time. Last weekend, I finally made it to Banaras. And I went alone. The last time I went alone on a trip was way back in January 2006 to Dharamshala/ Macleod Ganj. I must confess both solo trips have been amazing.

Whenever I tell people that I plan to go on a solo trip, I manage to draw expressions which sort of hint at the fact that there is something inherently wrong in what I am doing. While some (my parents included) think that I have lost my marbles, others simply assume that going alone would be such a boring exercise that you wouldn’t wish that upon your worst enemy. Some even hint at the fact that I am not telling the whole truth - implying a paramour in tow. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going out with friends and on trips too. But, going on a trip alone has a charm of its own.

I know people who travel alone to be away from the mundane. I have been told that they want to get away and do things they want to and in the way they want to. That to me is only a part of the motivation. For me, it is more on the lines of exploring and the sheer joy of trying something new, whether be it the indigenous culture, the local cuisine or even the strangeness in the weather conditions. Sometimes, it helps me see my own problems in better light, but in most cases, it just amazes me to see how with distance, life changes form. I think it is dangerous to get too deep in this sort of philosophical stuff. But the long and short of it is, I like to experience the change. And I think everyone should try it out once, should an opportunity present itself. It can be a cleansing experience.

Banaras is a city with many names - the more common ones being Varanasi (official name) and Kashi. For a whole list of other names visit Wikipedia. There were a lot of things that intrigued me about Banaras. For starters, I wanted to know how one of the oldest continually inhabited living cities in the world looked like. From my childhood, I have been hearing about how a dip in the Holy Ganges can wash away sins (In my case, I would have to go there every alternate weekend, if that was the case :). Then the many ghats bordering the Ganges - each with a myth of its own. Add to that, Banaras’ reputation of being been the cultural and religious centre in northern India for several thousand years - many prominent Indian philosophers, poets, writers, and musicians resided or reside in Banaras, including Kabir, Ravi Das, Munshi Premchand, Pandit Ravi Shankar, Hariprasad Chaurasia, and Ustad Bismillah Khan. Tulsidas wrote his Ramacharitamanas here, and Gautama Buddha gave his first sermon at Sarnath near Kashi. Ayurveda is said to have originated at Varanasi (all this of course from Wikipedia). And finally the banarasi paan of the ‘khaike paan banaraswaala’ fame, the khoya sweets, the lal peda and the famed banarasi silk. So, a Banaras trip was definitely on.

So I hopped onto Delhi Banaras Special as it trudged out of Delhi at around 6:15 pm late on Friday, 1st of August. The time stamp is quite unnecessary, but what the heck! Just felt like capturing the momentous occasion :). The train reached Varanasi Railway station at around 9 am (~ 15 hours), 2 hours behind schedule. I had done my research well, so I knew that I had to catch an auto rickshaw to Assi Ghat and the charge of the fare would be around 30-40 Rupees (Source: Wikitravel). The other option was to take a cycle rickshaw to Goudolia market and a cycle rickshaw from goudolia to Assi Ghat. The auto rickshaw charged around 50 Rupees and I was in no mood to haggle. What followed next was an unbelievable ride in some of the narrowest alleys, I have seen. There was about one centimeter gap between the farthest edges of the auto rickshaw and the alley walls. Yet, the driver insisted on driving through them. What was even more shocking was - If there were people coming from the opposite side, they had to go back to the point, the auto rickshaw could be allowed to pass :) Plus, there are cows and dogs on almost every alley - acting like speed breakers - to slow you down.

So I reached Assi ghat and checked out some of the renting options that wikipedia and other blogs had suggested. Most people had claimed that the location near Assi Ghat was ideal as it is a lot cleaner and quieter as compared to say any other ghat. I thought so too. But none of the renting options gave a view of the Ganges that I was looking for. So I jumped back into auto rickshaw and we did the alley-blazing routine again still I stumbled upon a guest house near chowki ghat (next to the famous Kedar Ghat). The location was good, not as clean and quiet as Assi ghat but a lot better than most other ghats. The room at ‘Kedareshwar Bed and Breakfast’ (KBB hereafter) was fantastic - it was directly above the ghat and the room offered an unobstructed view of the Ganges. The bathroom was clean, they offered power backup and cable TV and the price for a day (500 Rs for non-AC) seemed very reasonable.

So I quickly settled into my latest accommodation. The other advantage at KBB was that they offered me a guide who would show me around. A guide is not exactly not what I wanted as it goes against the backpacker’s basic instinct of self-exploration. But having seen the maze of alleys I decided to change tact save myself some time using some local help.

My first stop was the famous Kashi Vishwanath Temple, having the holy shrine of Lord Kashi Vishwanath (a manifestation of Lord Shiva) and one of the twelve revered Jyotirlingas of Lord Shiva. According to mythology, Lord Shiva once in fact lived in Kashi (Varanasi). I was warned a million times that I should stay away from “pundas” (short for pandits). But my guide suggested that I take the help of a punda as the temple inside has numerous exits and I might get lost. But he too warned me to refrain from giving any money while inside. What followed next was something that I would not like to remember too fondly. Even before I reached the entrance, I was frisked by policeman at least five times. The serpentine line made breathing in the alley very difficult and there was a lot of pushing and shoving. My punda took me inside from the exit instead of the entrance (he later confessed that the temple closes for some time in the afternoon and had I stayed in the regular queue I would have to wait for 4 hours). So the strategem of entering the temple from the exit worked. Once inside I prayed for forgiveness for not waiting in line like others :(. The pundas are super smart. Once inside the temple, they quickly make you visit the lingam and then escort you to places where the other murtis are kept and here is where they extract money. I was innocently escorted to one small murti after other and then made to offer prayers and accept prasad for which I had to pay. After a couple of instances, I refused to pay for which I was told that I would cursed by lord almighty himself - so I had to oblige. I was even made to buy a whole bucket of milk mixed with bhaang (when a small cup would have sufficed). Needless to say, I felt robbed once I came out. The blessings of Lord Vishwanath aside, I am not keen on meeting another punda in my lifetime.

Next stop was the famous Sankat Mochan Hanuman Temple. This one was a lot better, and orderly and most importantly minus the virus pundas :). The third temple in line was the New Kashi Vishwanath Temple or the Birla Mandir at the Banaras Hindu University (BHU) Campus. The important thing to remember about Banaras, is that there are a million temples, all important ones depending on whom are asking, so you to have pick and choose before you go. I chose the Birla Mandir because I wanted to see the BHU campus. BHU, also known as Kashi Hindu Vishwavidyalaya, is regarded as the largest residential university in Asia. Moreover, the fully-residential campus has more than 128 independent teaching departments and several of its colleges, including engineering (MCA),(IT-BHU),(Agriculture), (Law), Science and medicine (IMS-BHU), are ranked amongst the best in India. I loved the campus. It is amazingly well maintained, very green and peaceful. The Birla Mandir was good too. I lunched at the BHU itself minus any soft drinks - apparently colas are banned on campus - way to go BHU :)

It was almost three in the afternoon and I was done with all the temples I wanted to visit. I bought some khoya sweets and lal pedas (the sweets in the city are amazing and you must try the rasgollas). Then I decided to visit madanpura where apparently they sell authentic silk. The two places mentioned in Wikitravel are apparently too expensive. But my guide informed me that KBB has its own silk shop and they sell authentic silk at very cheap rates. Plus he said that I could sit in my own room and pick while relaxing on my bed. (my guide was a smart salesman - “relaxing on my bed” bit really made it an easy decision). So I went to the Krishna Silk Shop at the KBB. Buying silk is apparently an art. A lot of other cloth material can give a similar feel as silk. The easiest way to tell authentic silk is to pluck out a thread and burn it. Apparently, silk gives an odor and then leaves behind carbon residue when the charred thread is crushed. Cotton thread would burn out completely while plastic would give a plastiky odor and leave no residue. See the inset pictures.

So having done a little science experiment, I finally bought a few silk sarees for folks back home, which really made my wallet a trifle lighter. It was almost evening now and I had been on the road since almost yesterday evening, so I decided to get some rest before I catch the famous dusk “Ganga aarti”. Once back in my room, I switched on cable television and watched India kick Sri Lanka’s backside in the Test match at Galle. I dozed off while the ball had almost reached the boundary on one of Gambhir’s shot :)

Magical Banaras - II

2008-08-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

Fresh from some rest, I decided to go ghat-seeing. Again, the deal with ghats is that there are far too many (I think I heard someone say there are around 80 ghats), so you got to pick and choose. Most of the ghats are bathing ghats, while others are used as cremation sites. Many ghats are associated with legends or mythologies. This piece below from wikipedia:

“Dashashwamedh Ghat is located close to "Vishwanath Temple", and is probably the most spectacular ghat. Two Hindu mythologies are associated with it: According to one, Lord Brahma created it to welcome Lord Shiva. According to another, Lord Brahma sacrificed ten horses in a yajna here. A group of priests daily perform in the evening at this ghat "Agni Pooja" (Worship to Fire) wherein a dedication is made to Lord Shiva, River Ganga, the Sun, Agni (Fire), and the whole universe.

Two legends are associated with Manikarnik Ghat: According to one, it is believed to be the place where Lord Vishnu dug a pit with his Chakra and filled it with his perspiration while performing various penances. While Lord Shiva was watching Lord Vishnu at that time, the latter's earring ("manikarnik") fell into the pit. According to the second legend, in order to keep Lord Shiva from moving around with his devotees, his consort Goddess Parvati hid her earrings, and asked him to find them, saying that they had been lost on the banks of Ganga. Goddess Parvati's idea behind the fib was that Lord Shiva would then stay around, searching forever for the lost earrings. In this legend, whenever a body gets cremated at the Manikarnik Ghat, Lord Shiva asks the soul whether it has seen the earrings”

The Manikarnik Ghat is a cremation ghat and you see a lot of firewood and smoke in this area. I witnessed the cremation rituals performed there and it was truly a numbing experience. Next, I visited the Dashashwamedh Ghat to see the famous Ganga aarti. The aarti starts at around 7:15 and goes on for an hour.

Prayers are made to River Ganga as well as Lord Shiva along with a host of other deities. The aarti was magnificent and full of music and spectacular visuals. In fact, I would call it the highlight of my trip. I was so tired at the end of ghat-seeing, that I decided to call it a day. I had to get up early next morning as I was told that the sun-rise is one of the most beautiful sites in this part of the world.

Next day, I was up by 5am and with my guide in tow, I visited the Kedar ghat and sat along the river banks and watched the dawn while sipping tea. It was truly magical. Next on schedule was a trip to Sarnath which is around 13 kms from the Varanasi. Sarnath is the site of the deer park where Gautama Buddha is said to have given his first sermon about the basic principles of Buddhism. Also visited the Dhamek Stupa and the Chaukhandi Stupa commemorating the spot where Buddha met his first disciples (in the 5th century or earlier, BC). A Buddhist temple with a Gautam Buddha statue and a picture gallery outlining Buddha’s life in pictures is almost a 200 meter walk from the deer park. It was almost three on the sunday afternoon and the only thing left to do was try out some banarasi chaat and the famed paan. The chaat was average but the paan and thandai was amazing.

I still had like 3 hours to kill before I could get on to the Shiv Ganga Express taking me back to Delhi. So I decided to watch a movie in one of the local halls. It was sweltering hot and humid on the streets so the AC-cooled movie hall sounded appealing. The only movie on offer was “Ugly aur Pagli” starring Mallika Sherawat and Ranvir shorey. The movie was so horrible that I left the hall in half-an hour flat. Pritish Nandy - I want my money back!! Once outside I stumbled on a life-size poster of a recognizable political party - guess what - the Shiv Sena. I find it ironical that the Shiv Sena and Raj Thackeray’s MNS would have presence in UP while they are trying to throw our North Indians from Mumbai. And the other hilarious thing about the poster was that - it was for a Kushti Pratiyogita - meaning a wrestling competition. Lol. I guess the tiger will keep its stripes (pun intended).

Overall, the trip was fantastic. The only regret, if at all, was that I missed the boat ride - which is supposed to be the most amazing experience. The water levels in the Ganges are high at this time of the year and the plus all the boatmen were on strike for some god-dammed reason (couldnt even bribe them to take me around). So no boat ride for me. But still, I will remember the Ganga aarti, the temples, the sweets, the silk-buying experience, the alleys and of course the pundas. I think Varanasi is close to Bombay in a lot of ways. As Suketu Mehta, in his book the 'Maximum City' describes Mumbai as the city as a city of “no” which means that you don’t like the city initially till it creeps slowly on you. Varanasi or Banaras is something like that. The alleys, the sheer amount of people, the stench of cow-dung and poor sanitation can be repulsive but after a point you see past them and see the beauty that the city has to offer. It truly is one colorful experience.

Boat-ride is only one of the many reasons why I would want to visit Banaras again.

Heath Ledger - Hollywood's White Knight

2008-07-22T03:42:00.000-07:00

Its been almost two months since I last wrote on this blog. Given a frequency of writing an article every fortnight, I am currently lagging behind by almost four crisp articles. That is considering, anyone is keeping track besides me :) Anyways, a lot of stuff happened in the interim period, for instance, just in sport itself, we have had - the first IPL (infact given the pace at which cricket is played, we also had the Kitply Cup and the Asia Cup), followed by Euro Cup (an unbelievably fascinating tournament - which Spain deservingly won), then the incredible Federer-Nadal Wimbeldon final ...and more recently (infact, just yesterday) Greg Norman's spirited effort to be the oldest one to win the British Open. And all that just sport wise. On the local front, we have popcorn drama over the Nuclear Deal. Then some movies exceeding expectations, such as Jaane Tu.. ya Jaane Na - and some big banner movies crashing such as LoveStory 2050 and Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic. Since, i cannot address all of them, i will pick and choose based on free will (a concept i learned while watching Jim Carrey starrer "Bruce Almighty").

For starters, lets all stand up and applaud for the movie of the year - The Dark Knight (If u think I am exaggerating, check the Imdb ratings. Infact it has topped all reviews. Rotten Tomatoes gave it 92% which is the most i have seen, it broke Spiderman 3's record of revenues generated both in opening day as well as first week's earnings.. and there are many more records.. if u care to know). Not only do I concur with all the rave reviews (inspite of entering the movie hall with high expectations), i am as a matter of fact totally sold. The acting - superb. Effects - Top Notch. The thrill factor - Undescribable. And a word about the Joker (played by Heath Ledger). Without him, the movie wudnt have been half as good. There is already so much info on the net about how he prepared himself for the role (staying alone in a hotel, reading DC comics, practicing voice modulation to match earlier Joker Jack Nicholson's tone... ). No wonder the acting has been truly memorable. He recently died of accidental drug-overdose at the age of 28, and the world has lost an amazing talent. There has been a lot of talk of a posthumous oscar.. and i for one think he thoroughly deserves it. Definitely Hollywood's White Knight.

There is this other thing about Hollywood actors that really amazes me - the amount of dedication they have for the role. For instance, if u have seen Christian Bale in the movie Machinist, all skin and bones (apparently he slept only for a few hours and ate only fruits to get that body shape) and then u see him in The Dark Knight with all the Hulk-like body, and u know some serious work has gone behind the scenes. Daniel Day lewis's preparation for his roles are legendary and so is Gladiator Russel Crowe's preparation for his. Compare that to Bollywood, where Aamir Khan not trimming his hair in Mangal Pandey (or cutting his over-grown hair for Gajjini) is seen as actor's dedication for work. And he sets the benchmark. Others dont even do that much :)

The second important theme is the Nuclear Deal and the joke-house called the Parliament. I cannot believe that these people chosen to carry the country on their shoulders cannot agree on a deal that is of national importance. And if you are following stuff written in the newspapers, u would know that large amounts of money has changed hands. Some MPs dragged from jails and one even from his hospital bed to vote, so that their respective parties win. Some are in fact paid to abstain from voting. How can a government allow a member of parliament to abstain from voting, you tell me? Imagine, you choose a leader and the leader sits home while an important decision is being made of national importance. What a leader. So much a victory for governance.

In all this infighting, I think, we missed an opportunity to dictate terms to China. I admire China. No two ways about it. Some of their policies, such as regulating child-birth, are inhuman, i agree, but the country is definitely doing more things right than wrong. China, is currently totally focussed on its preparation of the Olympic Games and cannot afford any negative publicity. Methinks, we missed a trick here and should have pressurized the Chinese on issues like the Indo-China border and also a host of contentious issues. China might not agree, but this was our best chance. If only the Left parties had a little more sense.

Speaking of China, the country won 32 golds at the last Olympics, second only to the US who won 34. There was a time, when US and the Soviet Union won everything under the Sun. The US topped the medals tally four straight times till 1932 Los Angeles games, while Soviet Union held sway eight times from 1956 to 1992. US returned to dominance back at Atlanta 1996, Sydney 2000 and Athens 2004. But what has been surprising has been the rise of China, even in this sphere. Liu Xuan's 110 mts hurdles victory was last Olympics's greatest shock to the Americans who pride them on their Athletic hegemony. This year, i think China will race ahead. Though, they have downplayed every news stating this fact, i am sure they must have practiced their heart out to emerge triumphant on their homeland.

If India cannot decide on its Nuclear Energy policy, planning to win medals for Olympics (for even pressurizing China in its moment of weaknesss) is a long shot. Infact, we cannot even keep our manhole covers (circular lids on roads for accesing waste pipelines). What has manhole covers to do with all this? Well, you will be surprised. One day, i read a newspaper headline in a local daily claiming - Mumbai Municipal Government blaming China for over 5000 stolen mahole covers. The story goes that the Chinese Dragon kept consuming steel at such a rate for building infrastructure for the Games, that they ran out of steel. So they started purchasing steel from other markets. Apparently, thieves in Mumbai sold each steel-made manhole covers for Rs. 1200 each to China, and the mumbai roads were suddenly deprived of 5000 manhole covers. Go Figure.

Travails of a Bachelor

2008-05-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

Circa 2002 - Graduated with a Bachelors degree in Engineering. One proud Bachelor. Fast forward to 2008 - One disgruntled Bachelor.....

My landlord decided to sell his house. This decision of his put me and my flatmates with the seemingly innocuous task of finding another 'roof over our heads'. The process is streamlined anyways, we thought. We call up a few brokers. We see whats on offer. Try to negotiate the price to as low as we can. Hire the movers. Settle down in the new place. I couldn't have been more wrong.

We did call up the brokers. The conversations followed a similar pattern.

Broker: Family or Bachelors?

Us: Bachelors

Broker: Hmm. Muskil hai bhai sahab. Company lease mil Jayegi?

Us: Nahi. Humari company mein woh system nahi hai. Letter of current employment mil jayega.

Broker: Hmmmm. Koshish kar ke dekhta hun.

Inspite of his and our collective koshish, two weeks later we still had nothing to show for our efforts. We decided to double the number of brokers and tried to visit residential complexes ourselves. This continued for a while, till it dawned upon us, that people across residential complexes in Gurgaon are unanimously wary of leasing their properties to Bachelors.

For last two years, I have been staying in an apartment complex, lets call it Residency Greens (RG) for the time being, and we had our share of ill-treatment. There were people in RG who referred to us as "Call-Centre guys" as if we didn't have names. Dunno from where they got the idea because we have regular work timings 9 -7. Anyways, even if we worked in Call-Centres, there is no reason to look down upon us, as it honest labor just as any other profession. Further, we were always warned to drive slow once inside the complex, while the aunties themselves stepped merrily on the accelerator full throttle. Any occurence of theft and our help was questioned, as if the maids they themselves hired were above reproach. And if we had visitors, who committed the blasphemy of parking their vehicle along the edge of the street, the hyperactive colony people would instruct the watchmen to deflate the tires.

I have never seen such behaviour anywhere. I am shocked that educated people can stoop to this level. And that too when we have been on our best behaviors. To this date, we have not had a single party organised at our place (given the people around we have always chosen to party out), no complains of noise whatsover, driving inside has been regular. I dont see how we are different then anybody around.

Frankly, the Bachelor concern does hold some merit. For most people, Bachelors stand for unresponsible citizens. The typical stereotype is Bachelors have booze parties, bring women, make noise and in general disrupt the decorum of the society. There have been stray incidences of murder being committed in bachelor pads too. Of all that, noise is probably the only concern that i can digest. Booze consumed within the house should not be anybody's headache unless those drunk spill out on the streets and create nuisance or worse still borrow money from the neighbors, buy booze and do the above. Women, ah thats an interesting one. Though again, i could have brushed aside the topic as "I dont understand how that is anybody's concern", i still ponder, would my sister or cousin come to meet me.. should i tell them - I am a bachelor, you are not allowed here? And arent we grown up enough to accept that a guy can bring his girlfriend home, without trying to imagine what the hell is going on outside. Will leave that to the aunties.

What is even more interesting is people who say stuff like - I have nothing against bachelors but i just wont rent out my apartment to them!! Everytime somebody says something like that to me, my heart bleeds out a lil at the stupidity. To them, I would ask - Werent you a Bachelor once too? Or did u skip the phase and were born married? Morons.

Further, people forget that they have kids too. In an increasingly networked world, their kids might grow up and might have to work outside like we are doing and might face the same problems. I am sure they would not want the same treatment meted out to their own kids.

I think the people who put a blanket refusal to bachelors are "lazy". They dont want to take the extra effort and meet the Bachelors and try to look for themselves that Bachelors are not the devils with horns on the sides of their heads, as they are made out to be. In most cases, bachelors are well-educated and responsible. They infact rarely default on rent (One family income Vs three bachelor incomes) and are probably a better bargain in that respect.

My mom's take on this - Lets get you married !! Damn it.

India Shining? Me whining.......

2008-05-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

For almost last three years, I have been working in the field of Intellectual Property. For those who haven't heard the term, Intellectual Property or IP, relates to creation of Intellect or mind. And just like any other property, for instance real estate property, an owner may lay claim to his or her product of mind (Intellectual Property) through rights known as Intellectual Property Rights (IPR) enforced through Patents, Copyrights, Trademarks, Geographical Indications and the like.

With that background, let me begin my tirade on a topic that is bugging the hell out of me. Last week, I had an opportunity to attend a conference on IP Awareness at Connaught Place (CP), Delhi. I will not give the name of the organizing committee or the illustrious speakers who graced the occasion. Needless to add, there were CEOs, Key R&D personnel, academia luminaries, scientists, government officials, foreign delegates and rest of the sundry, including yours truly.

Everyone was ofcourse on the same page with regard to the fact that IP was going to play a very important role in India's dream of becoming a Global Powerhouse. Further, everyone agreed to the lack of IP awareness and the need to do something about it. But the methods discussed for achieving the same, were truly Indian in every sense of the word. The chair of the first session gave seven points as to what they were doing to create IP awareness. I counted four out of the seven were about some "committee" he had formed to do the same. If creating a committee were the solution to our problems, India would never have had any problem!! By the end of the day-long conference, I was so disillusioned that I immersed myself in.... you know what. I was referring to grief...what did u assume.... twisted mind.

Before I go into discussing everything that is wrong, let me for a minute, dedicate a couple of lines on Why IP is so important to India's future. Every country worth its salt has a strong culture of technological innovation. Take US for instance, the technological advancements there, are driving most things around the world. All major inventions, take Electricity bulb (Thomas Alva Edison), Telephone (Alexander Bell), Steam Engine (James Watt) and there are millions more, have revolutionized our lives. No wonder, with that culture of innovation, most US companies like Microsoft, Apple, GE, IBM are leading the world in their respective segments. What this means to countries like us, is that we are forever doomed to tag along what others have invented and protected through IP enforcement. Unless, of course we create our own technological innovation, our very own IP. Only then can we make our companies compete at a global level and bring home the benefits of capitalism to the burgeoning Indian population.

So how do we create this culture of Innovation? I don't think I am qualified to answer that question, but i want to share something that I noticed while I was pursuing my Masters degree at the University of Maryland (UMD). UMD, like most schools in the US, receives grants from institutions like NASA, NSF, Lockheed and the like, for collaborating on cutting-edge research. The professors at most of these schools are leading thinkers in their field and they in collaboration with the scientists at the institutions chip away at some of most baffling problems troubling humankind. Further, most schools in US follow what is called the 'tenure system'. The professors in the schools have to work towards 'tenure' which basically means, a permanent association with the school. For getting the tenure, the professor is not only graded on the course content and the student feedback, but most importantly on the research papers published and the contribution to cutting edge research alongwith the grants that come along with it. This simple last line, implies that each professor in the US is accountable with regard to research and his or her contribution to technological innovation. The professors are not only forced to come with new ideas, but are also forced to sync those ideas with industry problems so that they may then approach the industry for grants. The professor and the grant giving institutions then work in collaboration to make the research culminate into a solvable problem.

Further, the professors employ students in the form of Research Assistants and direct them towards achieving the objective. Some of my friends while working as RAs, stumbled upon inventive concepts and now have patents to their names. So, this simple accountable system called the 'tenure system' combined with healthy interaction between industry and academic institutions have ensured that US stays at the forefront of technological innovation. Imagine, thousands of US Schools with hundred professors each, working their backsides off, trying to create magic. I am not too sure, how the system works at the IITs, but I am dead sure that there are brilliant professors and students around and we can achieve the above by getting some accountability into all our schools.

The second and infact slightly more important factor is the law. There is no use of talking about technological innovation and IP, if there is no way to protect the rights of those who invested time, effort and money to make it work. In fact, the law is the biggest hindrance to a majority of our problems. Let me give you a simple example, in US as we all know, every house has at least three cars (the lack of mass transit options is appalling). That means there are a million cars on the street leading to congestion and related pollution issues. One of the solutions they came up with was a 'Carpool lane'. It is the most amazingly simple concept yet very powerful. The 'Carpool lane' is a lane on a freeway (highway) that is dedicated to vehicles carrying more than one passenger. In US most people often travel alone to work. Now to use the Carpool lane, which is relatively free as compared to other lanes on the freeway stuck in traffic jam, most people leaving in neighboring areas come together so that they can use the Carpool lane and reach to office on time. So not only has the number of vehicles reduced on the street as more people are driving together, but also the amount of petrol consumption has gone down with reduced pollution overall. Fantastic.

So coming back to the point of law, the US can have the Carpool lane (and not run into problems like we did for the BRT corridor) because they have a law in place. The moment somebody driving alone moves into a Carpool lane, he gets caught and punished appropriately. In India, without a system in place to catch the offenders, we can never get to implement anything. And with the Tata Nano and other such cars ready to hit the market, it is about time we get our act in place. This is not just one isolated instance, where the enforcement of law is hurting technological innovation or even the traffic on streets. Most of our problems have been because the law has not been able to punish the offenders.

So where does this leave India? Good question. Methinks, getting law in place and that too a expedited version (not the 20 year prolonged process) is critical. The schools form a fulcrum of most things the country bases its dream on. You strengthen the base, and most things will fall in place. And please no more committees !!

Epicentre - Gurgawa's coming of Age

2008-04-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday morning, I look forward to reading the "Gray Matter" section in the Hindustan Times. You generally have columns by Vir Sanghvi (Counterpoint), Karan Thapar (Sunday Sentiments), Indrajit Hazra (Red Herring) and occasionally by Manas chakravarty (Loose Canon), and all of them, whether with agreeable or with disagreeable content, make a good read. I have lost count of the number of times when both Vir Sanghvi and Karan Thapar have written on the same topic on a given Sunday and often bringing a totally different perspective to the same story (Take the one on LK Advani's autobiography for instance). Neways, today, to my surprise, all of the four columns were dedicated to the Chinese/Tibetan cause and three of them made unfavorable references to a certain Aamir Khan.

For the ignoramus, below lines from the Red Herring column will give you a background on what the references were about -

Aamir Khan reportedly received many requests asking him to refrain from participating in the Olympic torch run on April 17 as it would give out the wrong message at a time when Good People all around the world are shouting against Tibetans being boot-crunched by the hands-free Han Chinese. Aamir Khan responded by saying that "Olympics do not belong to China" and that he saw the Games as coming together of different people across the world despite their differences and difficulties. Then he added that he has the highest regard and respect for the people of Tibet are going through and that he will take part in the Beijing Olympics with a prayer in his heart for the people in Tibet. The last part was what ruffled the feathers the most. Most thought that Aamir was trying to have it both ways and that the two-faced stance was downright deplorable. I agree.

On reading the above, my mind instinctively started thinking of Aamir's other such controversial involvements - namely Narmada Bachao Andalon and the Aerated drinks pesticide issue. Both of which, he was pilloried for. It is one thing to take a stance and using your standing in the society for a good cause and it is altogether a different thing to take up a stance when you are not sure of the head and tail of the issue. And thats why I think Aamir is better off at doing things he is remarkably good.

Aamir Khan has been sorta my favourite on-screen actor for a while. His body of work - QSQT, Rangeela, Lagaan, Dil Chahta hai, Rang De Basanti and Taare Zameen Par have all been fabulous stuff. Am I not even counting his hits like Dil or the incredibly funny - Andaz Apna Apna. But the off-screen image is not that great. Here, i must mention Shah Rukh Khan. And I know, there are often these two camps - you can either like a Aamir Khan or a Shah Rukh Khan, and i am getting myself into muddier waters, but I like the Shah Rukh Khan off-screen. Aamir, whether in an interview or even supporting any cause, comes across as this 'cerebral' guy who has given a lot of thought before saying anything. His interviews often make a boring read and the technical jargon puts you to sleep. Shah Rukh Khan, on the other hand, has this charisma or whatever you call it, his answers are spontaneous and witty and most often than not, you see the interviewee smiling and having a good time. He generally comes across as very sensible (except when he talking about Big B) and that combined with a ready wit is very endearing to his fans. Even his involvement in causes like the IPL (he co-owns Kolkatta knight Riders) reek off finance being a priority, but the fact that he has never claimed to be anything else, is good enough for me. Only the high and moral society, will begrudge that fact.

I dunno why i got into this discussion about on-screen and off-screen personas. Stars are too complicated anyways. Speaking of stars, i saw a gem of a performance at the Epicentre, yesterday. I have been bemoaning the fact that Gurgaon does not have entertainment centres like say those in Delhi and Mumbai. But Boy! was i wrong. Epicentre in Gurgaon is like a stone's throw from where i stay and it truly disgusts me that i didn't know this all this while. Anways, check out some of the stuff being staged at the Epicentre - http://www.epicentre.co.in/. The events truly cover the entire gamut from Theatre, Music, Bharatnatyam recitals, Odissi choreographic presentations, puppets shows (next week there is a play - Kuch Bhi ho Sakta Hai on Anupam Kher's story and he will be performing himself). I am impressed. And the play I saw yesterday - Charandas Chor, directed by noted Hindi playwright Habib Tanvir, was a paisa vasool affair. The dialogues are in a tongue that will make ur mind spin (in a good way :) and the dances and the background score (played live) gave an incredibly authentic folklore feel to the whole thing.

I also managed to see the movie 'Race'. The only comment i have on that is - Too many cooks spoil the broth. The two directors - Abbas and Mustan- have both tried to include their own share of twists in the tale - to make the whole thing one heck of a twisted story :). The only good thing about the movie, was that I was accompanied by a special person (wink wink) which made 3 hours pass like a breeze! Thats just one twist in the tale from my side :)

More sight-seeing, my own IPL and some free gyan....

2008-03-29T21:14:00.001-07:00

Its been a while since i last wrote on this blog. A lot has happened since then. For starters, my sis and jiju were here in Gurgaon and we scourged the nooks and corners of Delhi and Agra like 'sight-seeing' was going out of fashion :) Anyways, it was also the first time i got to see the 'Taj Mahal' and the 'Akshardham Temple'. Saying that, I was stunned, is an understatement. With the Taj Mahal, I had already heard so much, that frankly I thought it had to be really special to amaze me. But it did and for totally different reasons. The Akshardham Temple took the amazement level to a different height altogether. I remember going to Disneyland in California and being stunned by the boat ride they have there, and, thinking when can we have such unbelievable stuff in India. Boy! The boat ride at Akshardham is much better than the Disneyland one and add mythology and history to it, and you have something that goes beyond the entertainment - something far more meaningful. And for those whom I bet will complain, I am not comparing the Akshardham Temple with Disneyland, but only the fact that both have this 'Prepare to be amazed' feeling about them. Anyways, I plan to write about both - the Taj Mahal and the Akshardham Temple once i have the pictures :)

We also went to Dilli Haat, CP and Chandni Chowk taking the famous Delhi metro and took pit-stops at Paranthewaali Gaali and Karims (gorged on the killingly delicious Jehangiri chicken and Mutton Burra). All in all, we had a heck of a time.

Another thing worth mentioning that happened during the interim duration was that I cleared the Patent Agent Exam. So now i am Registered Patent Agent with the Govt. of India. Frankly, i will avoid the details of how important it is to clear this exam for an Intellectual Property professional. But it is quite important and hence the mention on the blog :) Infact i tried to crack a lame ass comment about it saying "I joined IPL without the moolah". IPL ofcourse stands for the Intellectual-property Professionals League (I know it is humor at its' lowest). Moolah or not, i am celebrating :)

And finally, the main course - time for dispensing some gyan. Of late, I have been thinking about my future, career and such. And that thought process without fail gets me worried. Below is the thought sequence verbatim (I mean - thought to word instead of word to word :)

I am not too sure, what has got into me. For last few years, i have started feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I am sure others go through this as well. Somehow, i have always found a reason to be worried about. Something like - my default state is 'creases on my forehead'. My predicament is like an excited atom, which might leave its lower energy level orbit to go into a higher orbit (excited state) momentarily only to return to my low energy level state (even my examples reek off my engineering background...yuck!)

I think one of the most over rated phrases you'll ever come across is 'I want to leave my mark' or 'I have only one life and I want to make it count'. Bullshit. Ofcourse you would want to make it count, but who the hell is counting. Most of us want to remembered long after we are gone. Well who cares after we are gone anyways. And what good has ever come out making the world remember our name. I just tried to remember one famous name that most across the world would remember. The first name that came to my mind is Albert Einstein (Gandhi was a close second). I bet both Gandhi and Einstein did not endeavor to be remembered. They just did what naturally came to them and got remembered in the process. But is that good enough. I mean imagine you are Einstein for a second. And you have just propounded your theory of relativity to the world. What then to poor ol' Einstein? Nothing, Nada, Zilch.

Frankly, i think i'll pass. I don't want to be remembered for anything. I don't want to leave my mark. I am convinced it is a futile exercise. What i want to do instead is to drift and be aware of where my life takes me. I bet it is going to be more enjoyable than killin' myself over leaving my mark.

Some thought sequence that..... ain't it.. i will leave u to mull over your own future... cheers.

The trip that almost didn't happen - Memoirs of Dalhousie

2008-02-16T07:32:00.000-08:00

Banikhet and Chakki Bank - these names wouldn't have made sense a week ago. Now they bring memories of time spent well. The trip to Dalhousie would have never happened for more reasons than one. In fact, it was not even on our radar, when we first decided to plan a trip. It was just that somehow, one thing led to another in a way only nature can, and we found ourselves lapping up one breathtaking view after another in Dalhousie. Below is all the spice.....read on...

The script begins at...

Wednesday, 6th February - 1: 30 Pm - Vinay, Pooja, Priya and I step out of office for a post lunch break.

Wednesday, 6th February - 2: 00 Pm - Out of the blue, we decide that we should plan for a team offsite, the coming weekend. Vinay suggests Patnitop in Jammu as a possible option. Once back in office, we check out pictures of Patnitop on the net. The decision is an unanimous Yes.

Wednesday, 6th February - 5:00 Pm - We take a headcount of the interested people. Most have some or the other plan for the coming weekend. We decide to go ahead with the earlier plan as an unofficial excursion as opposed to a team offsite.

Wednesday, 6th February - 6:00 Pm - We book train tickets for nine (Uttar Sampark Kranti - Delhi to Udhampur).

Thursday, 7th February - 7:00 Pm - TV channels beam images of heavy snowfall in J&K. News is - road to Patnitop would be blocked for next few days. We make frantic phone calls to people, we know, in Jammu to check whether this is the case. Some of the nine ask for cancellation of train tickets. We plan to board the same train, but plan to stop on the way to Dalhousie in Himachal Pradesh, instead of proceeding to Jammu.

Friday, 8th February - 10:00 Am - Number shrinks from Nine to Seven as two drop out for personal reasons.

Friday, 8th February - 8:45 Pm - We are on our way to Dalhousie.

We (Pooja, Priya, Sireesh, Rajendra, Abhishek, Vinay and I) reached Chakki Bank railway station, in Pathankot, on Saturday morning at 5:00 in the morning.(~ 490 kms in roughly 8 hours). The city of Pathankot lies in the Gurdaspur district of Punjab and serves as a meeting point of the three nothern states of Punjab, Himachal Pradesh and J&K. There are two railway stations in Pathankot City- Pathankot railway station and the Chakki Bank railway station. Except for few trains most of the trains use the Chakki Bank railway station.

The name, Chakki Bank, I am assuming derives its name from the river Chakki flowing through Pathankot. Apparently, efforts are underway to rename Chakki Bank - check out this link - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/63159.cms - the trouble is - the article is dated June 2003. Lol.

Reaching Chakki Bank, we decided to hire a innova to take us to Dalhousie (70 kms). The other option was ofcourse to travel to the Pathankot railway station (4 kms) and then board a bus to Dalhousie. The cab driver offered to take us to Dalhousie at an off-season rate of 1800!! Further, he reasoned that since Dalhousie had received a major snowfall since last few days, the bus could take us only so far. Frankly, we didn't have an option. It was around 5:30 in the morning and we were stranded in almost pitch dark at the railway station. But the price - 1800 bucks seemed too steep. So we did the next best thing - we haggled our lives away, till he agreed to take us at off-season discounted rate of 1350 :P.

Hiring a cab, in hindsight, was the right choice, because no sooner did we hit the winding roads taking us uphill into Himachal Pradesh, a few of us developed some serious bowel problems. And we had to take a number of pit-stops or rather puke-stops to make us feel lighter. I cannot imagine a bus stopping that many number of times to accomodate our puking :) Neways, the cabbie also put a movie - Cheeni Kum - on a small video screen - for us to be entertained while we were on our way up. But it was the scenic beauty on offer that kept us captivated most of the time. The movie was no good anyway and in a way only gave us one more reason to look outside.

Our journey uphill was abruptly halted as the road got too dangerous for the innova - leaving us stranded almost 3 kms from Banikhet. The city of Banikhet lies in the Chamba district of Himachal Pradesh and from here the road bifurcates - one towards Dalhousie and the other towards Chamba. Banikhet is 7 kms from Dalhousie - meaning we were almost 10 kms away from Dalhousie. The cab driver nonchalantly informed us that we would have trek from here onwards!!

After an hour spent hoping that the road would miraculously get better, we decided to start walking towards Dalhousie. That started, what i would call the highlight of the trip. We partly walked and partly hitchhiked on 4x4's to Banikhet. We lunched at Banikhet before proceeding to trek the remaining 7 kms to Dalhousie.

Here's what the official website of Himachal Pradesh ( http://himachal.nic.in/mapbig.htm) has to say about Dalhousie -

Nestled on the spur at the western end of Dhauladhar, Dalhousie in its present shape was founded in 1850’s when the British acquired five hills from the ruler of the Chamba State for developing the area as a sanatorium. In 1853 the five hills of Kathalagh, Potreyn, Terah (now called Moti Tibba by the locals), Bakrota and Bhangora were acquired by the Govt. of India from his Highness the Raja of Chamba who was allowed a reeducation of Rs. 2000 from the annual tribute of Rs. 12,000 paid by him. Since the estate was founded in the time of Lord Dalhousie the sanatorium was recommended to be called “Dalhousie” by Sir Donald McLeod. You could also visit the website - (http://hpchamba.nic.in/destdalhousie.htm) for getting more travel-related information for Dalhousie.

If ever a written word could fail to do justice to the content - this is one such instance. I cannot possibly begin to explain what it felt like - looking at one breathtaking view after another while trekking up to Dalhousie. Hopefully, some visuals will try to put across the point i am trying to make -

Stranded

Try bettering this for a view

We walk a lonely road.....

sCARy

Picture Perfect

View from the hotel balcony

Hotel Himgiri

To tell you the truth, we were expecting to see a typical hill station. We were told that we would see British row houses nicely lined up. We also planned to visit Khajjiar (described as mini Switzerland), which is only 24 kms away from Dalhousie. But the snow fall changed all that. The roads to Khajjiar were snow-blocked and the British row houses disappeared in the pile of snow. Forget Khajjiar, i couldn't even tell u a thing or two about Dalhousie if you asked me. All we saw there was snow, snow and more snow. One of the locals told us that the last time Dalhousie received this kind of snowfall was in 1970's. (Ya the guy was old enough :)).

But, i couldn't have been happier the way the trip shaped up. We had a ball of a time trekking in snow - and the the whole experience was simply overwhelming. It was like walking in a never-ending white cave. Most travel sites would recommend May onwards as a suitable time to visit Dalhousie. If you are expecting a regular run-of -the-mill hillstation then may be they are right. Methinks, Feb is the time !!!

Looks like Patnitop in Jammu will have to wait :)

Saturday Blues.....

2008-02-02T01:08:00.000-08:00

I woke up today morning with a start. My head was spinning without axis. I raised my palm to check whether i was seeing double. I could see two palms staring right back at me. Maybe i was seeing double. Maybe i raised both my palms. What the heck!! Pondered for a second whether to go back to sleep again. I decided to freshen up instead.

While having my chai, I started thinking about what dream could make my head spin like that. Suddenly out of nowhere, Sigmund Freud and his 'The Interpretation of dreams' flashed across my eyes. Not much scope for interpretation when you can't remember your dream, can you Sigmund? Anyways, spilled my chai on my beloved sports section of the newspaper. Sigmund Freud, please make way for Murphy and his laws. Newspaper was neatly rolled into a blob. Tried shooting hoops with it. This form of entertainment was not going to last long anyways. I decided to switch to reading. I'm currently reading - Khuswant Singh's 'Not a nice man to know'. This piece was about Khuswant's trip to Japan. Boring as hell.

Music. My last hope. After U2's - With or Without You and Cranberries - Animal Instinct it was time for Goo Goo Dolls's Iris .... love this song. This one is dedicated to you "T".

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am.

I feel better already!!!

Thank Opium for the Rise of Bombay ....

2008-01-26T01:49:00.000-08:00

History has always fascinated me as a subject. So, recently when i read a fascinating essay on the 'The unlikely rise of Western India' by Vikram Doctor in one of the supplements of Economic Times, i decided to put a hyperlink of the essay on my blog. Unfortunately, the article was nowhere to be found on the Internet.

So i did the next best thing. I typed out the more meatier passages of the text (Ya i have better things to do in life...but somehow this seemed important too :) Who would have taught Opium could be responsible for the rise of the financial capital of the country. Neways, below are the excerpts:

"During the Mughal period, Surat was one of the richest cities in India, with the Hindu merchants so powerful that even Aurangzeb was conciliatory towards them. And when the gradual silting of the Tapti river diminished Surat’s viability as a port, it was compensated by the growth of Bombay to the South, which had one of the few natural deepwater harbours on the coast.

However, the gap between Surat’s decline in the 17th century and Bombay’s rise at the end of the 19th century is a surprisingly long one, and it fails to explain why the west coast as a whole lagged behind Eastern India’s growth at the same time. From the 18th century till well into the 20th the real economic action was in Eastern India, with Bombay playing an enterprising, but still only a supporting role.

The reason is rooted in geography. The great thrust of the Western Ghats running down most of the West Coast, with no navigable river enabled few easy connections across it to the vast hinterland of the Deccan plateau. This single feature negated Bombay’s deepwater advantages since it meant the city lacked access to the economic resources of its hinterland in the way Calcutta did, with all the products of north and east India – indigo, tea, silk, cotton textiles, jute and coal – flowing down the Hoogly. Lacking an easy outlet Central India failed to develop similar tradable products, and the whole central region of the West Coast developed little external trade other than coastal commerce.

A product was needed to link Western India to global trade, as Indigo initially did in Eastern India. This turned out to be Opium, a product which transformed a backward possession called Bombay. From its start as a part of Catherine of Braganza’s dowry Bombay had never lived to British’s expectations: “A poor little island sniffed the diarist Samuel Pepys in 1663.

All this was to change because of opium, a fact often downplayed in Bombay for the later notoriety of the trade. Recently, however, historian Amar Farooqi had refocused attention on it, arguing that it was critical for the city’s early take-off. “Modern Bombay, in a sense, has its genesis in the poppy fields of Bihar” he writes in the Opium City: The Making of Early Victorian Bombay. Farooqi notes that of the two centres for opium cultivation in India – Bihar and Malwa, the region around Indore – the former was the first one developed for International trade. Started by the Dutch, the trade was greatly expanded by the British, who saw its potential in the Chinese market, where it could be exchanged for much prized tea.

The trade was such a success that the East India Company moved to monopolise it. In 1773 Warren Hastings abolished free trade in opium, and soon every part of the business was tightly controlled by the Company. This left resentful businessmen, both British and Indian, looking for the ways to break into the trade, and Malwa opium suddenly presented an opportunity. The Company’s presence in Western India was weak, and the influence of local merchants with rulers like the Scindias could thwart any attempts to crack down on opium cultivation. Since opium was not too bulky it could be transported easily, even over the Ghats. And if the Company tried stopping sales through Bombay (which it did) there was always Portuguese Daman close by through which consignments could be routed. Businessman stayed in Bombay, but grew rich on Daman Malwa, as the Western Indian opium was called. “This accumulation together with the capital which had become available through a very strong indigenous presence in the commercial activity of Western and Central India, could be channelised into industrial development at Bombay,” writes Farooqi. Opium also helped develop Bombay’s ship building industry, as the traders needed ships, and opium was also a profitable investment for the ship-builders. But if opium gave Bombay traders their kick-start, they were smart enough not to come to depend on it entirely. They invested their profits in other businesses, in building new trade connections and physically building up both the city and the other centres near it, like Ahmedabad.

Claude Markovitz in his paper ‘ Bombay as a Business Centre in the Colonial Period (paper printed in Bombay, Metaphor for Modern India, edited by Sujata Patel and Alice Thorner) points to this far-thinking and flexible approach of Bombay’s business community as the most important reason for the city’s ultimate success over Calcutta. He notes Calcutta’s many advantages, including direct access to government for most of the Raj period and the greater variety of export products at its disposal. Yet Bombay leveraged opium to get going, and when that declined after 1860, the greater flexibility and the greater capacity for innovation of Bombay’s businessmen meant that the impact was far less than was felt in Calcutta after decline of Indigo.

Opium had connected Bombay with its hinterland, and when that was gone the city found another connection is cotton. This grew well in the Deccan, and providentially started enjoying a huge boom once the American Civil War started in 1861. This ended in a major crash, yet it was a sign of how far Bombay had come that the city soon bounced back. It started marketing yarn and cloth in the domestic market, until Lancashire started competing, with all the backing of the British Empire. Bombay turned to the Far East then, and by 1880, 80% of its yarn production went to China. When the Chinese and Japanese started their own mills, Bombay turned back to the domestic market, weaving yarn into cloth and even riding on the back of Swadeshi movement and sell it"

Fascinating piece on History.

It is about time we start celebrating 'Opium Day' in Bombay. Lol.

I have been typing the whole damn essay for close to an hour. Time for cuppa chai,

More Later

And the winner of 2007 'Foot-in-Mouth' award is.......

2008-01-06T01:01:00.000-08:00

Yours truly. tsk tsk.

Just read an article on some of the biggest spoken gaffes of 2007 on wired.com - http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2005/12/69904. Can't help thinking i have not one but three very recent instances to put forward my candidature. Following is the hallowed list -

1. 'Foot-in-Mouth' Gaffe # 1 - AR Rahman's concert in Delhi was his first in India.

I had written the above line in one of my earlier blogs - no you won't find it now, it has miraculously disappeared :). I would have swore, that was what i was told. The truth revealed itself when i happened to Google my own name ( i believe everyone should Google his/her name, trust me you'll be surprised to see some of the stuff written about you). On googling my name - i was directed to a site for ARRahman fans with the following comment -

"To this blogger Anand Phene (Mumbai/Gurgaon) Delhi Concert is ARR's first performance in India? Why he blogs with wrong information?"

The other comments in the forum following the above one further confirmed my ignorance. Clearly, it wasn't ARR's first performance in India. It so happened that I was told that it was his first live concert. That "in the Capital City" was conveniently left out. Having said that, i wouldn't even vouch for the fact that this was his first live concert in Delhi.

That apart, I never thought of my ramblings on this blog as a source of "authentic information". And that people should look upon it as one. Looks like i am dead wrong. It is, i guess, assumed that the author of the blog has verified the authenticity of the information and is reasonably sure of what he is publishing. Can almost hear blog readers whispering 'Make that dead sure'.

2. 'Foot-in-Mouth' Gaffe # 2 - Mumbai is safe for women.

I have lost count of the number of times, i have used the above line to defend Mumbai to fellow north-Indians (read as allegiance towards New Delhi). The debate on claim to a 'better city' has never been settled successfully with both sides parroting the same age-less points. But the incident on New Year's Eve has laid hollow any such claim of mine. What a shame for a great city!!

And i guess, saying that the city is safe in general, except for some stray incidents like the one on New Years Eve, is at best denying the presence of an elephant in the room. It wasn't a case of one or two miscreants indulging in eve-teasing, but a mob attacking women. That is just crazy. This is not some third-world country. This is aamchi Mumbai, we are talking about. I hope the punishment to the perpetrators befits the crime and that punishment is swift enough and aimed at setting a precedent. And for those who claim that the perpetrators are not from mumbai - i would just say that even if this was the case - just like we celebrate achievements of say an Amitabh Bachchan or a Dhirubhai Ambani, who relocated to Mumbai, as a feather in Mumbai's cap, this incident sadly should go down against us as well.

3. 'Foot-in-Mouth' Gaffe # 3 - India winning Test series in Australia.

This one is the mother of all. In one of my earlier post - You are going down (December 13, 2007), i had predicted that India might just surprise the home-side. I couldn't have been more wrong. Agreed that the basic premise for the prediction was that India avoids losing the first test, which didn't happen, but still, this qualifies as the mother of all gaffes.

Hours ago, I just saw the Indian side lose three wickets in the space of 5 balls to lose the Sydney test. The score-line after two completed tests reads 2-0 - Australia cannot lose the series and hence will retain the Border-Gavaskar trophy. Saying that the two B's - Benson and Bucknor - played a huge role in ensuring the sydney result - is nothing more than an excuse.

I have followed India's fortune on the cricketing field for as long as i can remember. For years, i have seen glaring umpiring errors turn the course of the match against India. Remember, Steve Bucknor giving Jonty Rhodes not out.. who went to score 80-90 odd runs and saving the match, or steve bucknor giving Steve Waugh and Damien Martyn reprieve for Australia to draw the sydney test - denying us a certain series victory in Australia last time around.

Yes, any Indian fan will agree that umpiring errors harming an India cause - to - errors benefiting India over the years have not evened out and that somehow the errors have miraculously done more harm, than an odd bad decision normally does, such as turned the outcome of the match or even the series. Kid yourself whichever way you want, but the fact of the matter, is we lack the mental strength to slug it out when things don't go our way and we let the decisions affect us more than the decision should. Australia in this series have clearly been a superior side and i don't blame the almighty for siding with them.

It is 2008, and the above gaffes are history already :) Hopefully ARR will perform again in Delhi and that Mumbai will be safe for everyone once again and India will start winning test matches...and hopefully i will keep both my feet at a fair distance from my mouth.... amen to that!!

Cold temperatures and warm entertainment

2007-12-16T05:22:00.000-08:00

Gurgaon was frickin' cold last week. The lowest temperatures have been way below ten degrees... and my hands are shivering while i am typing this. I swear. ok i swearrrrr. Youu gott to believvve meee. It truly has been really really cold (as Jim Carrey would have put it).

What made the cold bearable though was a musical (a la broadway style) I saw yesterday at the Sriram centre in Delhi. The play 'Fiddler on the Roof' really warmed the cockles of my heart (Queen Elizabeth would have been proud of my usage of this phraseology).

When my friend Rahul Mehra asked me to join him for the play, I must admit i was apprehensive. The whole idea of a musical in Hindi didn't really sound appealing. Don't get me wrong. I love watching plays and have traditionally preferred drama over its impostor cousin 'commercial cinema'. But still, a musical in Hindi, i had to think twice. And thank God, better sense prevailed.

'Fiddler on the Roof' is a play set in 1905 in Anatevka, a jewish village in Russia. Apparently 3 million people worldover have seen this play. The broadway production has won nine Tony awards and the movie based on the same won three academy awards. Impressive eh?

Anyways this excerpt from Wiki will give u a sneak into the story

"The story centers on Tevye, the father of five daughters, and his attempts to maintain his family and religious traditions while outside influences encroach upon their lives. He must cope with both the strong-willed actions of his three older daughters—each daughter's choice of husband moves progressively further away from established customs—and with the edict of the Tsar that evicts the Jews from their village."

I strongly recommend you see it. Dramatech needs to be commended to get this play here. The cast was competent, the costumes were wonderful and did a great job recreating the 1900's Jewish look, and the music complemented the scenes . All in all a memorable experience. And i would stick my neck out and claim - Musicals in Hindi are here to stay!!

I can't help feel a sense of deja vu. Somehow i always knew i'd warm up to the "North". When i came to Gurgaon, my first such visit up north, i came with an open mind. I have lived in far too many cities to know that. My first few months here - and i almost bought the theory prevalant here - that Gurgaon is synonmous with the Malls. You need to buy grocery - you go to Big Bazaar in Sahara Mall. You want to watch a movie - you go to MGF metropolitan mall. You want to buy clothes - you go to Lifestyle at DT Mall. You want to grab a quick bite - guess what - you go to Mcdonalds at the Mall again. That combined with dust with all the construction goin around, the crazy road traffic and absolute zero personal safety made me totally disillusioned.

But last few months have been different. New Delhi is only 26 Kms drive. And that to me has made all the difference. Last month i saw the AR Rahman concert .. and the performance was truly breathtaking. Hariharan, Kailash Kher, Chitra, Madhushree, Sadna Sargam, Sivamani performed in a troupe comprising 50 instrumentalists and 22 singers. Imagine listening to songs from Roja, Bombay, Dil Se, Taal, Lagaan, Rang de Basanti, Saathiya and Guru back-t0-back.

Then there was a play Khel Khel Mein at the kamaani auditorium. And now this musical 'Fiddler on the Roof' at the Sriram centre. And i haven't even started speaking about the OSIAN film festival - with upcoming and established filmmakers from SriLanka, Turkey and practically the world over showcasing their stuff.

The Zing is back in the Entertainment. And i feel much better already. If only for this coldddd...and my shivering hannddssss.... :)

You are going DOWN......

2007-12-13T04:42:00.000-08:00

"You are going Down..." seems like a line a WWF wrestler would pout to a competing wrestler. Well this blog has no intentions of discussing wrestling lingo.. not even wrestling for chrissake. I was just referring to Indian cricket team's upcoming tour of Australia, also referred to as a trip DOWN UNDER.

Well, Australia has been referred to as DOWN UNDER for as long as i can remember and as I kid i used to think that the reason was the performance of the visiting teams. Says a thing or two about Australian dominance doesn't it, when a kid starts thinking along these lines.

Anyways and thankfully i figured out the reason .. for Australia being referred to as DOWN UNDER. Apparently, Australia is only continent which lies completely below the equator in the southern hemipshere unlike Africa and South America... which have some parts above the equator. Southern Antartica is not considered, i guess, because in the globe, south antartica is shown contiguous extending into North Antartica... no one goes there anyways..... :)

I really hope we kick some arrogant Aussie butt. Batting wise - i believe Dravid should open with Jaffer. He comes one-down but is usually seen coming in within the first ten overs .. so i guess he might as well open. Infact, I believe facing your first ball in the tenth over is far more dificult than facing the first ball of the match. The bowler would be all pumped up having got the earlier wicket, he would have worked up a nice rhythm and pace till the tenth over....something we cannot say when the bowler is bowling his first ball, so dravid should open. No doubt about it.

So here's the lineup i would go for - Jaffer, Dravid, Laxman, Sachin, Ganguly, Yuvraj, Dhoni, Pathan, Kumble, Zaheer and RP Singh.

This makes Yuvraj bat around Sourav and Dhoni .. both lethal combinations. Laxman... needs time to settle and is solid against pace, so one-down is ideal for him. Pathan gives us batting depth plus third seamer option. Bowlingwise we would have Zaheer, RP, Pathan and ganguly as four medium pace options with spin from Kumble. And if we are bowling on the fifth day, Yuvi and Sachin can turn their arm around. So we have a semblance of a decent attack.

In Melbourne and Sydney, i would pick Bhajji over Pathan. These pitches have traditionally aided spin. Bhajji and Kumble on a fifth day pitch can make life difficult. Anyways on a spinning pitch, I believe we can pile up runs better than on a fast bouncy track, hence can do away with a extra batting option in Pathan and give bhajji a chance to tweak the life out of Aussies.

My predictions??...Well most experts are predicting a 3-0 or a 4-0 whitewash of the Indian team.. considering what happened to Sri Lanka who came with a bowling attack of Vaas, Malinga, Fernando and the great Murali. I don't want to make a blanket prediction.. but i would say that the first test is the key. If we avoid defeat in the first test.. i think we will win the series. Yes win the series . And Yes i know we are playing in Perth (supposedly the fastest pitch in Oz). Aussies have traditionally feeded on the fact that visiting teams lose the first match and are low in confidence or are under presssure thereon. Look at what happened in the last tour. We avoided losing in first match and result is there for all to see. Though the final score-line for the series read 1-1, i think bucknor and parthiv patel denied us a certain series victory.

And don't give me that 'See what happened to Lanka' Shit. Sri Lanka barring sangakarra have a batting line-up nowhere close to the quality of batting this Indian team has. In spite of that Sri Lanka almost chased 500 in the second innings (lost eventually by 97 runs). Lets assume for a fact, that the Aussies will pile-up 500+ score. They do that against any attack scoring at almost four an over. So our weak attack as most claim .. will not really hamper us. The key is can we put an equivalent total to match their 500+ score?. The answer is YES. This makes me believe that we stand in a decent chance against the aussies.

Anyways you'll never have me predicting against India :). Call it misplaced pride or whatever you like. Vande Mataram.

And I seriously hope.. before the last bowl of the series is bowled.... Kumble turns towards Ponting ....Rajnikant style.. and closes his fist and sticks this forefinger pointing in the downward direction and says.. ..guess what??

"You are going down....Mate". Amen to that.

A Question for each Occasion

2007-11-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

What did I do this Diwali … I drove myself crazy with questions. A friend of mine, Ritesh Khera… invited me to spend Diwali with his family at his place in Chandigarh. For anyone, who has been long enough in Gurgaon it is as-easy a decision you will make all your life. So I tagged along. Anyways, was sick and tired of reading about ‘Chandigarh’ topping every review for the best city in the country. Being a true-blood Mumbaikar, I needed to see the city with my own eyes.
Chandigarh is a brainchild of Jawaharlal Nehru, who yearned to create a city - "unfettered by the traditions of the past, a symbol of the nation's faith in the future" (Nehru's own words). Apparently, Swiss-born French architect and planner, Le Corbusier was responsible for designing the layout of this beautiful city. (Inset - Nek Chand's Rock Garden, picture courtesy lonelyplanet).

The other planned cities in India are New Delhi, Bhubaneshwar in Orissa, Gandhinagar in Gujrat and Navi Mumbai in Maharashtra (all built close to existing old cities - Delhi, Cuttack, Ahmedabad and Mumbai). Of course, I didn't know this till i stumbled upon an article in Wikipedia.

Anyways, I believe that even if you haven't parked yourself in a city - there are tell-tale signs - which tell you a thing or two about the city. Take roads for instance. The health of roads tell you whether the city government cares for its citizen - a parameter too important to ignore. The movement of traffic will tell you what kind of law and order to expect in the city. If people blatantly break traffic rules - you know there is not much to offer on the law and order front. Crime will not be too far away in such a place. The most common vehicle brand you come across will most likely be a decent indicator of average income of a city dweller. And finally always stop by and ask for directions in a city - and observe the way - you are directed. In most cases this simple interaction will tell you enough about the people residing in the city.

Chandigarh did remarkably well in all the parameters. What was noticeable though was that Chandigarh is not a city on the move. The vibrant buzz of Mumbai or Delhi is unmistakably absent. It has this undescribable relaxed air about it. My friend explained to me that chandigarh being a Union Territory houses government offices for the state of Haryana and Punjab. So you see more government players than corporate ones. May be that explains the lack of rush in people to get somewhere. Anyways, the city made me think of where do I want to settle down eventually. A wrong question at a wrong time. Almost ruined my Diwali.

The question triggered a chain reaction - adrenaline kicked in, my eyes popped out and brain cells went into overdrive - some exaggeration for dramatization is harmless :) A thought of quickly settling the issue by picking 'Mumbai' (check the adjoining pic) as the favored destination was entertained for a second before being dumped equally quickly. I have stayed in Gurgaon for almost two years now and have been to Delhi, Hyderabad, Pune, Jaipur, Manipal (in Karnataka) and now chandigarh - and must confess - I have been impressed by all of them. In the last two years - i have also been to Rishikesh/Haridwar and Roorkee in Uttaranchal, Dharamshala and Kasauli in Himachal Pradesh and Amritsar in Punjab, but i decided against settling down in these places :)

The pros and cons of each place did not lend themselves to easy comparison and made the whole process a nightmare. Then i decided to rate each place on parameters like crime/personal security; cost of living; job opportunities; city infrastructure - like roads, airport, etc.; traffic conjestion; availability of mass transit options; recreation options and finally eating joints - and all that left me in a tired state and most importantly without an answer.

I almost ruined my Diwali celebration thinking about the stupid question. While I was thinking of how i almost ruined this festival - i decided against "thinking" on all future festivals. Thinking of future festivals made me think of all coming festivals and especially the ones i enjoy, which ofcourse, led me to asking myself the question - which festival I enjoy the most? Ganpati festival or Holi or Diwali? A chain reaction (familiar by now) kicked in again.... and for 'almost ruining' my diwali... lets just say the question provided final FINISHing touches . Hope you had a good one :)

Mamma Mia.......

2007-11-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to get enough of the movie - Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi. I have already seen the movie five times. And looks like i am going to see the movie at least a few more times.

The movie starts with a pun citing a horological mistake in Nehru's independence day speech, better known as the 'tryst with destiny' speech. One scene later, we are propelled into late 1960s - early 1970s era. The turmoil leading to the declaration of Emergency by Indira Gandhi, serves as the backdrop against which the roles of three characters - Siddarth (Kay Kay Menon), Vikram (Shiney Ahuja) and Geeta (Chitrangada Singh) - evolve.

The roles of each of the three characters are etched beautifully. The movie is about three people starting from one point (in this case Delhi College of Engineering) and moving along three different directions, only to find their lives hopelessly intertwined.

I don't want to go into the details of how the roles evolve, you can easily read the reviews anywhere. But i loved Vikram's role. For me, that is 'once in a lifetime' role. He is a sharp kid who knows his place in the society. His love for Geeta has to be seen to be believed. Kay Kay Menon is convincing in his role as a revoluntionary involved in a Naxal movement. Chitrangada Singh is stunningly beautiful. Period.

The two other movies that i chanced upon last week were - 'A Good Woman' on HBO and 'Johnny Gadaar' in a local PVR.

'A Good Woman', set in the 1930s in Amalfi, Italy, is based upon Oscar Wilde's play Lady Windermere's Fan. Starring Helen hunt (playing a seductress), Scarlett Johansson, Mark Umbers and Tom Wilkinson - this movie has some crisp dialogues, courtesy Oscar wilde ofcourse. His legendary take on the bourgeoisie society is evident from some of the witty lines you hear every now and then in the movie.... for instance...

'Gossip is alright.. it is the moralising that's in poor taste' .....woah....or

' I like America. Name me another society thats gone from barbarism to decadence ...without bothering to create civilization in between. Tribute to American efficiency' ....sharp eh....

'Cultivated leisure is man's true calling'.......or

'People call something an experience .... they usually mean it was a mistake' ......

Fantastic wit. The movie is alright .... but the dialogues make it a keeper.

The other movie - Johnny Gadaar - was the dark horse. I am surprised, the movie died without a trace. Had me hooked till the last scene. Too bad, you need to be backed by a big production house ... to get noticed.

It has been an excellent week movie-wise - the plots have been fantastic and the humor finetuned to my liking - just the way i like it. Next week, there's lot to look forward to... for starters.... Indo-Pak cricket series (can't wait to see Sachin whip bad-boy Akhtar to shape), followed by Diwali....cracking!!!.....then two blockbuster movies.... releasing..... Saawariya and Om Shanti Om.... bache ki jaan loge kya.... ;)

Paper & Jerry Seinfeld

2007-10-22T03:51:00.000-07:00

Question # 1: Why do u blog?
The Oracle: hmm… good question.

Question # 2 (slightly animated): Why do u blog?
The Oracle: That’s two good questions in a row…..

Question # 3 (Going Ballistic): Why the *#*% do u blog?
The Oracle: I ran out of paper… damn it… (i am horrible under pressure....)

Well it’s better than saying - ‘Nobody listens to what I have to say’ …

So i have decided that 'Lack of paper is going to be my reason for blogging'.... if only they could use less pages while printing the newspaper nowadays (last week's TOI supplements could have itself cost a forest) ..... everybody would then have paper.... to maintain a decent journal instead of blogging..... so the justification goes.....

Anyways, speaking of newspaper, reminds me of a famous quote by Jerry Seinfeld, who said -

“It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper”… witty eh? I know what you are thinking… No you cannot use it…

Here are some really witty ones from Jerry again -

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”

and this one…

“A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door, the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, "He's back, it's that guy, that same guy." He can't believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog”

And…

“I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire other room? What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, "Hey look, there's a whole other room in there. There's a guy that looks just like me in there."
But the parakeet would fall for this. I'd let him out of his cage, he'd fly right into the mirror. And I'd always think, "Even if he thinks the mirror is another room, why doesn't he at least try to avoid hitting the other parakeet?"

And…

“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the nail clippers right here."

One last good one…

I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"

Check out this wiki link for a truckload of good ones - http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Jerry_Seinfeld

More later

The Oracle